The Space Spoon

2. Hidden Traits

The muscle man looked at Carmen and laughed. Tejeda holding out the spoon in a melee stance was also pretty amusing. The crowd created an echo like pieces of dominoes falling. Everyone laughed, Tejeda included. He had learned long ago that laughing when everyone else did was good, even if he didn't understand why the amusement.

Suddenly, the blonde pack of muscles stopped, his blue eyes shooting Tejeda. “Why are you laughing?”

That question put the Nubilae in a really tough spot. He had felt this way only once before when one of his tentacles emerged during a conclave of the Universal Consensus. Their Grand Admiral was an important man. It was well known that he didn’t possess tentacles or other appendages.

All things considered, Tejeda gave the same answer as back then. “It is one of my hidden abilities. That is how I stretch my face muscles. Do you like it?”

His opponent wasn’t impressed or amused by the response. Instead, he raised his hammer and took a shot at Tejeda from above. When it hit the floor, the sound of metal clashing metal gave a sour taste inside the Nubilae’s mouth. Standing on the right side of the blonde giant, Tejeda hit him with Carmen over the ear. “Take this for creating such an unnecessary distasteful sound.”

With his right hand occupied in holding the hammer, the muscle man put his left hand over his ear.

“What a pussy!” The crowd laughed loudly, several leaned on their mates to avoid falling on their asses. “The new guy would better throw that thing and fight with his bare fists. He would have a better chance with both hands free than holding such a worthless thing.”

Tejeda clicked his tongue in annoyance. How could they suggest he should throw Carmen away? Was it possible for humans to be so depraved?

His thoughts were interrupted when the big guy took another swing at him. Tejeda ducked, hitting his attacker’s knee cap. Carmen didn’t inflict any damage.

The crowd cheered. “It was fun!"

"Yeah, it was. Karl, finish him!"

"We had enough of this bullshit.”

Rather than swinging his hammer again, Karl used his elbow, hitting Tejeda in the chin, which threw the Nubilae to the ground. A smirk appeared on the muscle man’s face as he raised his hammer to give the finishing blow. When he stood above Tejeda, the latter could see a beauty spot under the corner of his opponent’s left eye. How could he not see it before? Usually, he was good at spotting interesting details.

As the hammer was about to smash through his face, Tejeda remembered he was in a fight and pushed himself through the attacker’s legs. During the slide over the floor, he used Carmen to apply a targeted hit on Karl’s genitals.

Tejeda knew that was a painful spot. He was hit there once, and the pain had been excruciating, to say the least. From that moment forward, Tejeda never grew the nerves that enter the genitals ever again. He could live without any sensations in that place.

The Nubilae gazed at his companion, sadness in his eyes. “Sorry, my dear Carmen, for putting you through such an ordeal. I hope you will forgive me someday.”

A huge hand snatched the spoon from Tejeda’s hands. He reached out after it, but it was out of his grasp. Karl threw Carmen on the floor, yelling. “That hurt! Take this!”

The hammer rose high into the air. It was about to drop over Carmen, and that would have flattened it completely. Tejeda couldn’t allow that. In a blink of an eye, he flashed right between Carmen and the hammer.

Karl’s eyes widened with amazement as he raised his blood-stained hammer. Red fluid was dripping from the Nubilae’s head. The big guy pushed him with his foot and overturned him on his back. He was dead alright. Karl signaled it to the crowd, who cheered again.

Carmen was still on the ground. Everyone was so hyped that no one saw how the corpse’s hand reached out for the spoon and stuck it into his pocket. When the commotion mellowed, Karl’s voice echoed. “I'll throw out the garbage.”

His overdeveloped muscles hardened as he grabbed the collar of Tejeda’s shirt and dragged him to the airlock. A red trail was left behind by the motionless body, perfectly showing the route to their destination.

Upon arriving at the airlock, Karl pushed the button to open the door. He put the corpse on the floor and was preparing to leave the airlock when he saw a dot under the corner of Tejeda’s left eye. Also, his hair seemed a lot brighter than before, almost as blonde as Karl’s.

The muscle man never knew what hit him. Well, it was Tejeda’s fist, but he couldn’t know as he was already in the dreamworld.

After a few minutes, Tejeda was outside of the airlock and the door sealed behind him. His first action was to take Carmen from his pocket and polish it thoroughly with a clean corner of his shirt. Now it was shining, and the Nubilae’s reflection was spot on. His short blonde hair, his blue eyes, the beauty mark under the corner of his left eye, all these were his new features.

Carmen seemed smaller now in his hand. Maybe that was because his hands were now bigger. Tejeda hung the spoon on the chain, which barely closed around his massive neck. The Nubilae smiled. He should find a longer chain.

Tejeda grinned, thinking of how lucky he was that he didn’t have his central nervous system in the cranial cavity. His thick index finger pressed the red button, and a female’s apathetic voice started the countdown. When it reached zero, the outer hatch opened, and the body of the real Karl floated into space together with Tejeda’s clothes.

A sheepish smile covered the Nubilae’s face as he scratched his head, looking very foolish. “Heh, I forgot to ask him the name of this ship!”