The Space Spoon

6. Yet Another Body

Tejeda’s vision blurred on her face. He raised a hand and rubbed his eyes. A gentle hand caressed his cheek. When he could finally open his eyes, he saw Shayla’s jade glare. His head was on her lap. His body felt different and a weird metallic taste fouled his mouth. The Nubilae clicked his tongue in displeasure. “Shayla, have you given me to drink blood? I am not a vampire, for fucking out loud!”

Her gaze hardened. “This is what I get for saving your life? Would you prefer a dead man’s saliva?”

As Shayla leaned over him, Carmen fluttered above Tejeda’s nose. He turned it to look at himself in its reflection. His bald head was shining, enhancing his high cheekbones and amber eyes. He had a short beard that had not been shaved in a few days, which gave him a distinct masculine look while letting his strong jaw stand out. That was the face of Kalden Deltak, the leader of the Syndicate of Cosmic Freedom.

Still watching his new face, Tejeda asked. “How did you…?”

“Oh, I shot him while he was shooting you. It was a piece of cake after you saved me. Still no thank you?”

Tejeda sighed, still a bit annoyed. “Thank you. However, next time do not make me drink blood. It is enough to touch it. My pores will absorb any fluid with DNA. And when will you be thanking me for saving your life?”

“I already did that by saving your life in return. Be grateful!”

He put his hands over his chest and gasped. Shayla flinched. “Is something wrong?”

“No, just that I miss my boobs.”

She rose to her feet and slammed his head onto the floor. “You are a pervert alien.”

Tejeda got up too and started undressing because Shayla's clothes were too small for him now. “I hope he has a change of clothes around here. His uniform has a hole in it.”

Shayla turned her back on him, tossing a uniform to him over her shoulders. “He had this in a drawer. Take it!”

After a few minutes, right after Tejeda put on his new clothes, all the lights went out and the emergency ones began to flash dark purple.

“Shit, we're under attack,” Sheila shouted and went to open the coms. She raised her hand and swiped down, opening the transparent screen on the captain’s desk.

A crewman appeared immediately on the screen. “Interplanetary Police is here. We are surrounded. What should we do?”

Tejeda gently pushed Shayla aside. “Put them through.”

The crewman nodded. Another man appeared on the screen, dressed in the usual blue colors of the Interplanetary Police. “I am Captain Terry North of the Assault Unit’s vessel A31. Power down your engines and weapons and prepare to be boarded.”

“I am Kalden Deltak, the leader of the Syndicate of Cosmic Freedom. The Interplanetary Police has no jurisdiction over me and my ship. You will turn around and go back to headquarters. I want a vintage car and two men to drive it.”

A sudden beep came from the other side of the screen. Captain Terry North gaped before recovering his composure and replying. “I understand and you are right. Have a nice day, sir!”

The screen went black, banishing the image. Tejeda could now see Shayla through the transparent shade. She frowned, swiping up to close the translucent screen. “What was that about?”

“Haha, the last sentence I said is my set password. ‘I want a vintage car and two men to drive it.’ When I say it, on their monitor, something bleeps with a red light and they get a prompt with my rank and status. It makes me smile every time this happens, and the expressions on their faces are priceless."

The valley between the mountains of folding skin on her forehead deepened. “But why would you pick such a lame sentence for a password?”

Tejeda sat on a chair and spun on it. “It is not lame. It is all about Carmen. “Car” and “men”? You know, Carmen.”

Shayla didn’t laugh. “Why have you sent them back? Why didn’t you arrest us all?”

“Well, if I do that, it would mean I go back too and admit that my mission was a failure. I can’t have that. Also, now I am the Syndicate of Cosmic Freedom’s leader and you are on my side. We will steer this ship around and get to the meeting between the Universal Consensus and the Alpha Pirates. Are you prepared for the adventure?”

She leaned on the desk, wrapping her arms over her chest. “Who said I'm on your side? Why would I help you?”

The Nubilae had a warm smile that baffled her. She had never seen that on the captain’s face. “My dear Shayla, I will not arrest you for starters. And you will need a job after this sham is over. Have you ever considered a career in the police force? You have some mad detective skills. The system is corrupt and it needs more good people. Have you heard of the prosecutor who drove his shuttle into a wall a few weeks ago? The investigation established that the wall smelled of alcohol and came from the opposite direction. Hilarious indeed, isn’t it?”

His laughter was rough coming from the mouth of Kalden Deltak. He put his hands over his head, enjoying himself maybe a bit too much while he spun around in his chair. Suddenly, Tejeda stopped spinning and laughing. His face was dead serious when he turned toward Shayla. “How do bald people know how far to wash their faces?”