I remember that morning, one year ago when I started a new day at school, I came to the library and talked to a girl who was reading a book in the corner of the library.At a glance I feel like I understand how she feels, she must have felt empty and lonely at that time. However, I didn't expect that it was because of that girl that I would eventually carve out my own destruction."Aghh it hurts... it hurts... hot... cold!"The pain was gripping in the stomach. Cold and heat also spread throughout my body, but my eyes didn't open because I wasn't fully conscious.After a while, I felt a sense of calm as something cold touched the skin on my forehead.••••I opened my eyes and when I looked around I could see I was already in someone's room.The house is made of wood, I can say this is a simple house that is calming in the middle of the building houses in this small town. The room area is about 3×3m. Then because of the simplicity of this house, the lighting only uses candles, and I
"It's Rey!"Anie gave me the bag I asked for. When I opened the phone, I saw the words " 29 missed calls "from dad and" 12 missed calls " from Maya.They must be worried!'But that was not the case, I immediately pressed the "call" button to my father, and after a dozen seconds, my father in a surprised tone inquired about my whereabouts."Hey, Rey? Where are you? Did you forget the promise, huh?""Hello Dad, sorry ... I think I'm going to be late today for some reason. Instead of that, can Dad or Maya pick up Katia? He works at the convenience store we used to go to!""Did something bad happen to you?""Ah ... maybe so, please dad!""Hmmm, I'll get him. Do you want to tell her something?""Tell her...."My mouth stopped moving, I felt heavy saying it. I feel like a useless person anymore."What? "Tell her "I'm sorry" for not being able to pick up!"I said it with a caveat."Alright, I'll pick her up right now. Then about you, I'll give you a moment or a chance. The conversation with
"Thank you Rika, you are a precious person to me!"We hugged each other, but I said something. Mrs. Rika did not answer my gratitude.'Is there a problem?'I raised my head, my crying also seemed to have subsided. Without realizing it, it turned out that from the beginning Anie was near the door. She must have seen it all from the beginning. I could see Anie's shocked face, accompanied by a face depicting guilt and regret."Repeat again!"Breaking my concentration on Anie, Ms. Rika threw a word in a tone that surprised me.For a moment I thought ,' Is this really the Rika I know?'I just realized it. Just now, being carried away, I accidentally called her presumptuous. 'Damn, is she angry because I'm being disrespectful?'"I-I'm sorry Miss Rika, I seem to have been disrespectful to you just now!""Why is it like that? Didn't I tell you to repeat it?"say it with disappointment.My mouth reflexively said that presumptuous sentence in a stammering tone."T-thank you Rika, you are a preci
"Hey Rika aren't you tired? You can have a little fun!"I've heard that phrase hundreds of times... no, it's probably been a thousand times. Classmates, family relatives, and teachers always threw that sentence, starting from when I was in junior high school until I graduated from college. People just say shit. They talk as if they know me. Friends? Looking for a girlfriend? Social relationships? It's just a trap. It's all a bunch of selfish assholes. Behind their words is always veiled a certain purpose, so I always put a mask in front of them, as a form of self-defense and keep your distance.I'm a disciplined man. Spending my time studying, living independently and not wasting a second on useless things. Being alone in the house without parents has also been my days since I was in junior high school.°°°°After a big fight, my parents decided to divorce and chose their own path. My father went abroad to continue his business, then my mother also went abroad to achieve his goal
A bright day for a lonely soul. Maybe that's what I usually feel when I wake up in the morning, before activities. But for some reason today that loneliness seems to fade.The sound of the echo of tap water drops in the kitchen, the orange light of the sun through the glass of the house, the melodious chirping of birds, and a cup of delicious coffee, accompany my morning today.Enjoying my solitude at this time, I remembered the words of Mary that she spoke yesterday. That, all the things I experienced became heavier because of my own fault. Now that I think about it, what exactly do I need to do to cover it up?At University, I majored in international business marketing. Well, I took that major because I used to think my target in this world was money. What a fool, money is not what I want in this world, even the profession is also not a desire from the bottom of my heart, it is an escape from my dream of becoming a teacher.Anxiety, loneliness, and no reason to live. Maria had alre
The night after the storm was calm. For some people, this is the perfect moment because they can drink coffee with pleasure while accompanied by snacks. For some, it is the same night as any other, a night of cold, loneliness and emptiness."So Rey, who is Katia?"Fading all my imagination, I who was daydreaming in an instant was surprised to freeze. I was on my way home, next to me, Mrs. Rika was driving with focus. The distance from here to the House might be about three more kilometers, but Mrs. Rika drove slowly, she did it like she had a certain intention."Why suddenly discuss her?""This is important, I want you to tell me the truth and tell me everything about her with nothing to hide!" strictly speaking.Why is she so suspicious of Katia? Is it okay to talk about everything we do?'No, no, I can't imagine what Mrs. Rika will do next!'"If we talk about her, we really only met and knew each other yesterday. She's the new clerk at the store I used to go to, and yeah ... she's
In my life, all the things I want are always away from life. I told my mom once."Mom... why is it that the things I want are always so far away and so hard to get?"I said it when I was heartbroken that my childhood friend was dating the person she liked, which was our senior a high school student. It was a past I wanted to forget, just remembering it always made me feel sick somewhere.My mother simply replied, "That's life Rey!""What do you mean? Can you explain it to me?""Ah ... I can't answer that now Rey!"say it with a gentle smile.Until her passing, she had not given me that answer, only the feeling of loss was overwhelming when I saw her buried in the cemetery.Indeed it was my fault, since entering high school and afflicted by various problems, I closed myself a little from my mother, I closed myself because the problems I faced were so heavy that I could not say it because it could embarrass my parents, even though the truth was just slander.I couldn't give her anything y
"Criminal!" "Rapist!" "Stay away from me, trash!" "You'd rather die damn it!" "Bastard!" Those words rained down on me as I walked through the school gates. Seeing the student in front of me paving the way while avoiding me, I felt like I was walking in an empty hallway and silence filled my body. I know that look, that look of disgust, condescension, intimidation, and anger. Then when I walked into the school ... the paper waste from the students was thrown and hit my shoulders one by one, accompanied by the students' harsh words that did not subside. I didn't care, because I realized... whatever I say, whatever I do now it will be useless. I entered the classroom, and I saw a girl sitting at my desk. "Kringg-kringg...." The sound of the alarm woke me from sleep. "Ah... that dream again." Back to remembering my past dream when I had given up and resigned myself to the situation, not knowing what to do, like falling into an abyss. Yes, I used to experience it, I was lik