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2024-10-29 19:42:56"Criminal!"
"Rapist!" "Stay away from me, trash!" "You'd rather die damn it!" "Bastard!" Those words rained down on me as I walked through the school gates. Seeing the student in front of me paving the way while avoiding me, I felt like I was walking in an empty hallway and silence filled my body. I know that look, that look of disgust, condescension, intimidation, and anger. Then when I walked into the school ... the paper waste from the students was thrown and hit my shoulders one by one, accompanied by the students' harsh words that did not subside. I didn't care, because I realized... whatever I say, whatever I do now it will be useless. I entered the classroom, and I saw a girl sitting at my desk. "Kringg-kringg...." The sound of the alarm woke me from sleep. "Ah... that dream again." Back to remembering my past dream when I had given up and resigned myself to the situation, not knowing what to do, like falling into an abyss. Yes, I used to experience it, I was like walking in an endless aisle with emptiness and emptiness filling my heart, and nothing could fill it. No one believes, no one understands, can't be changed, everything goes against what you want and slowly destroys you from within. I decided and convinced myself not to fall into the same trap.
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Traved In The Void Stuck in hell days and encounters
I will repeat again. There's one thing I've always believed in. "If you make the wrong choice, your life will be filled with dark clouds." Yes... just from a wrong choice, it can turn into a 'vicious' circle. Words are "killing machines", and many people don't know that. "One word can destroy a person's life and one word can change a person." They don't know... if the words they spoke to me, would echo in their heads when they closed their eyes to sleep. I've come to think that "sleeping is torture" and "waking up is the worst." Before going to sleep, the words 'they' always stabbed into my head and when I fell asleep, the nightmares of my past always haunted me. It's all I go through every night, and honestly... I can't get used to it, because... I'm just ordinary people. If we consider the nightmare "rice", I have eaten it every day and lived it with resignation. Until one day I met .... • • • • My eyes opened and looked up at the ceiling of the house that I was used
Traved In The Void The woman I respect where I hate the most
"Let go of your hand Rein! The problem is only smoking, right? Besides, I think there are a lot of students out there who smoke too, and you have to understand when it comes to Rey!" Rein let go of his hand and exhaled as if removing his emotions, I was silent then thought 'hey why should I? Didn't I just smoke? And there are a lot of students out there who smoke?' But this muscle-brain is mindlessly challenging me and always commenting on everything I do, I'm so sick of this bastard. Do you remember what I said when I was with Katia? 'If the super student has hatred, in the future whatever the ordinary student does will look wrong in the eyes of the super student' Yep, that's what I'm experiencing. "Ok, for now you pass." Rein turned around and seemed like he was going to sit down, hearing his words, I, who was fed up and angry with this bastard, said the words that I had been hiding for a long time. "Yeah... it's up to you, damn muscle brain!" Indeed, after I said that I f
Traved In The Void My night with her
Evening turned into night, like shifting a curtain into silence and darkness, the night breeze that I felt made me realize how calm this atmosphere was and then healed my heart and soul for the heavy things that happened today.Right now, I'm in front of a girl ... which this morning we had made an appointment to meet again in front of this minimarket at 18:00, yes ... I promised Katia. This time Katia's appearance was really relaxed, she only wore training pants and a sweater, then her ponytail hair when wearing a hat, now flowing beautifully when the wind blows on her. "Yo... good night." "Good night, too." "By the way, what things do you carry that many?" I asked while looking at her hand which was carrying a lot of things. "Ah this ... we discussed this this morning right? It's today's discount eggs and I bought a little more, you can take a box, take it!" Her hand took a box of eggs, put it in a spare plastic bag and handed it to me. "Eh... even though I intended to buy it
Traved In The Void Fragments of dreams and the past
I walked alone in an endless tunnel, as far as the eye could see all I could see was a long hallway. Puddles of water filled my ankles, but I don't think this is water because the sensation is thick. "Where is this . . . and what is this fishy smell?" Curious about what was pooling this, I then squatted down and looked at him clearly 'eh is this blood?' Suddenly someone appeared lying from the pool of blood, when I looked again wasn't it 'Mother?' I see a scar on my mother's stomach. "Mom... hey mom why are you here?" I immediately ran to my mother, but I fell. Then one by one the paper fell from above on my back, there was a disdainful laugh filling this empty tunnel, I was familiar with these voices, these were the voices of stupid pigs all over the school. I caught one of the papers, and when I opened it it said 'you'd rather die, crook'. "What the hell is this bastard!" I tore it up then threw the paper away, the laughter suddenly disappeared. I saw that my mother had d
Traved In The Void Katia
"Ahhhh, why is it so hard to sleep!"I mumbled then looked at the clock on my cellphone, and the time showed 03:23.Actually my body is tired from yesterday because I've been working, but because of overthingking... sleeping is really hard for me.Running away from home, changing places of residence and also changing places of work, I did all of that to protect myself. The world is cruel, especially for a woman. If I easily trust someone, then I will easily break and fall too. Therefore, until now I don't trust anyone.The only one I believe in is myself.I kept trying and trying to close my eyes hoping to fall asleep, but my mind didn't let me sleep that easily. Until without realizing it, it was already 05:38."Oh my... why? I just want to sleep and rest!"I woke up and tried to calm my mind, but my mind couldn't be calm without sleeping. I thought ... the only way to calm my mind was to smoke, but I'm out of cigarettes."Hah! Looks like I have to buy it at the convenience store and
Traved In The Void A calm morning before the attacks and dark storms
Now I'm with a girl getting ready. Yes ... that girl is Katia, Katia and I took turns showering and then wearing our activity uniforms. In my house, the toilet happens to be in every room, except in the guest room. So, if you want to take a shower, it only takes a few steps. Previously we discussed something, and the result of that conversation was taking turns taking showers while bringing our clothes into the toilet. So, we won't see each other's bodies exposed after bathing. Now ... after we took turns showering, Katia was already wearing the employee uniform like yesterday and was sitting on my bed, it looked like she was about to tie her hair. 'If it's a pretty girl, then whatever clothes and style she wears will always look good on her', I thought as I watched Katia tie her hair. This is the sight that every man with a ponytail 'fetish' dreams of. In front of my eyes, a beautiful mature girl, was seen biting her hair tie in her mouth, followed by her two hands gathering
Traved In The Void Deer and herd of lions
I hastily arrived at the school, it looks like the other students are also in a hurry because they definitely don't want to get wet in the rain. By the way, even though the sky was cloudy earlier, but somehow it still hasn't rained. I parked my motorbike in the usual place, which is at the corner of the school.The homework that must be done is Mrs. Rika's lesson, then now I realize, because Mrs. Rika was busy and will not come to class, won't if I do homework it will be useless?'Shit, I want to smoke!'Mrs. Rika's lesson today starts at 10, because she is not in class, we will definitely do independent tasks such as taking notes. Well this is not surprising, in fact I'm happy because I have a lot of free time.When I finished parking my motorbike while daydreaming, I immediately rushed to class, then two people suddenly blocked the road in front of me."Oi ... follow us, someone wants to meet you!" said one of the people in front of me."Huh? Who are you? And what's the problem?""D
Traved In The Void Reality and pain
I ran towards the five people in front of me with my fists clenched, maybe this sight was like a deer that took its life to a lion herd, but I didn't care about it all, because now I was filled with anger.When I was in front of them, I swung my hand to hit one of them's head, but one of them dodged it easily.The one I attacked was the one in the middle, and when I swung a punch at the one in the middle, the other four people took a step back as if leaving this guy alone to fight me. Apparently, they retreated because this person gave the instructions to retreat with both hands.'Do they want to do gladiators?', I thought."Son! I really feel sorry for you!"Because my attack was dodged, suddenly a sudden impact was felt on the side of my neck so that I unconsciously fell to the ground."Hah?""Hahaha ... as expected from a Rolan, you are fast and merciless!" said Leon.It turned out to be the kick of the person called Rolan. Damn... I was completely shocked that the attack seemed in
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Sudden meeting.
In my life, all the things I want are always away from life. I told my mom once."Mom... why is it that the things I want are always so far away and so hard to get?"I said it when I was heartbroken that my childhood friend was dating the person she liked, which was our senior a high school student. It was a past I wanted to forget, just remembering it always made me feel sick somewhere.My mother simply replied, "That's life Rey!""What do you mean? Can you explain it to me?""Ah ... I can't answer that now Rey!"say it with a gentle smile.Until her passing, she had not given me that answer, only the feeling of loss was overwhelming when I saw her buried in the cemetery.Indeed it was my fault, since entering high school and afflicted by various problems, I closed myself a little from my mother, I closed myself because the problems I faced were so heavy that I could not say it because it could embarrass my parents, even though the truth was just slander.I couldn't give her anything y
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I'm home
The night after the storm was calm. For some people, this is the perfect moment because they can drink coffee with pleasure while accompanied by snacks. For some, it is the same night as any other, a night of cold, loneliness and emptiness."So Rey, who is Katia?"Fading all my imagination, I who was daydreaming in an instant was surprised to freeze. I was on my way home, next to me, Mrs. Rika was driving with focus. The distance from here to the House might be about three more kilometers, but Mrs. Rika drove slowly, she did it like she had a certain intention."Why suddenly discuss her?""This is important, I want you to tell me the truth and tell me everything about her with nothing to hide!" strictly speaking.Why is she so suspicious of Katia? Is it okay to talk about everything we do?'No, no, I can't imagine what Mrs. Rika will do next!'"If we talk about her, we really only met and knew each other yesterday. She's the new clerk at the store I used to go to, and yeah ... she's
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I saw Rey destroyed (Rika part 2)
A bright day for a lonely soul. Maybe that's what I usually feel when I wake up in the morning, before activities. But for some reason today that loneliness seems to fade.The sound of the echo of tap water drops in the kitchen, the orange light of the sun through the glass of the house, the melodious chirping of birds, and a cup of delicious coffee, accompany my morning today.Enjoying my solitude at this time, I remembered the words of Mary that she spoke yesterday. That, all the things I experienced became heavier because of my own fault. Now that I think about it, what exactly do I need to do to cover it up?At University, I majored in international business marketing. Well, I took that major because I used to think my target in this world was money. What a fool, money is not what I want in this world, even the profession is also not a desire from the bottom of my heart, it is an escape from my dream of becoming a teacher.Anxiety, loneliness, and no reason to live. Maria had alre
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Rika and her past (part 1)
"Hey Rika aren't you tired? You can have a little fun!"I've heard that phrase hundreds of times... no, it's probably been a thousand times. Classmates, family relatives, and teachers always threw that sentence, starting from when I was in junior high school until I graduated from college. People just say shit. They talk as if they know me. Friends? Looking for a girlfriend? Social relationships? It's just a trap. It's all a bunch of selfish assholes. Behind their words is always veiled a certain purpose, so I always put a mask in front of them, as a form of self-defense and keep your distance.I'm a disciplined man. Spending my time studying, living independently and not wasting a second on useless things. Being alone in the house without parents has also been my days since I was in junior high school.°°°°After a big fight, my parents decided to divorce and chose their own path. My father went abroad to continue his business, then my mother also went abroad to achieve his goal
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The problem that Mrs. Rika is facing.
"Thank you Rika, you are a precious person to me!"We hugged each other, but I said something. Mrs. Rika did not answer my gratitude.'Is there a problem?'I raised my head, my crying also seemed to have subsided. Without realizing it, it turned out that from the beginning Anie was near the door. She must have seen it all from the beginning. I could see Anie's shocked face, accompanied by a face depicting guilt and regret."Repeat again!"Breaking my concentration on Anie, Ms. Rika threw a word in a tone that surprised me.For a moment I thought ,' Is this really the Rika I know?'I just realized it. Just now, being carried away, I accidentally called her presumptuous. 'Damn, is she angry because I'm being disrespectful?'"I-I'm sorry Miss Rika, I seem to have been disrespectful to you just now!""Why is it like that? Didn't I tell you to repeat it?"say it with disappointment.My mouth reflexively said that presumptuous sentence in a stammering tone."T-thank you Rika, you are a preci
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Rey's explosion.
"It's Rey!"Anie gave me the bag I asked for. When I opened the phone, I saw the words " 29 missed calls "from dad and" 12 missed calls " from Maya.They must be worried!'But that was not the case, I immediately pressed the "call" button to my father, and after a dozen seconds, my father in a surprised tone inquired about my whereabouts."Hey, Rey? Where are you? Did you forget the promise, huh?""Hello Dad, sorry ... I think I'm going to be late today for some reason. Instead of that, can Dad or Maya pick up Katia? He works at the convenience store we used to go to!""Did something bad happen to you?""Ah ... maybe so, please dad!""Hmmm, I'll get him. Do you want to tell her something?""Tell her...."My mouth stopped moving, I felt heavy saying it. I feel like a useless person anymore."What? "Tell her "I'm sorry" for not being able to pick up!"I said it with a caveat."Alright, I'll pick her up right now. Then about you, I'll give you a moment or a chance. The conversation with
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Oasis
I remember that morning, one year ago when I started a new day at school, I came to the library and talked to a girl who was reading a book in the corner of the library.At a glance I feel like I understand how she feels, she must have felt empty and lonely at that time. However, I didn't expect that it was because of that girl that I would eventually carve out my own destruction."Aghh it hurts... it hurts... hot... cold!"The pain was gripping in the stomach. Cold and heat also spread throughout my body, but my eyes didn't open because I wasn't fully conscious.After a while, I felt a sense of calm as something cold touched the skin on my forehead.••••I opened my eyes and when I looked around I could see I was already in someone's room.The house is made of wood, I can say this is a simple house that is calming in the middle of the building houses in this small town. The room area is about 3×3m. Then because of the simplicity of this house, the lighting only uses candles, and I
- Traved In The Void
Disgusting bastards
Anie said that it is now around 10 am, which means that now in class the students are enjoying free time because Mrs. Rika is busy outside of school.Now, I'm in front of the classroom door and want to open it.With such a chaotic appearance what would my classmates think?Wet clothes with blood stained the front of my shirt, then my body is full of bruises, especially in the stomach that hurts so much when I walk, when they see it what will they think?Even when I slowly walked here, I was holding my stomach because of this pain.'Will they pity me when they see me like this?'"Hahaha... that's impossible, they will definitely laugh at me!" I muttered.I should have just come to UKS because my condition is like this, but... I used to swear and decide to myself, whatever the situation if it's Mrs. Rika's lesson, I have to be in class.Then now, even though I might be a few minutes late, but I should still have time to be absent to the class president.Slowly, I opened the classroom do
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Reality and pain
I ran towards the five people in front of me with my fists clenched, maybe this sight was like a deer that took its life to a lion herd, but I didn't care about it all, because now I was filled with anger.When I was in front of them, I swung my hand to hit one of them's head, but one of them dodged it easily.The one I attacked was the one in the middle, and when I swung a punch at the one in the middle, the other four people took a step back as if leaving this guy alone to fight me. Apparently, they retreated because this person gave the instructions to retreat with both hands.'Do they want to do gladiators?', I thought."Son! I really feel sorry for you!"Because my attack was dodged, suddenly a sudden impact was felt on the side of my neck so that I unconsciously fell to the ground."Hah?""Hahaha ... as expected from a Rolan, you are fast and merciless!" said Leon.It turned out to be the kick of the person called Rolan. Damn... I was completely shocked that the attack seemed in