Why Are My Dreams Realistic?

Chapter 4 : Falsum Domum : (part 3)

‘We’re falling into the abyss of an endless loop of death. The only hope we had was to rely on ourselves. The entity that has taken our soul was inside this data or a volume of a book. Some of us could retaliate between countless attacks it had made towards us. They were able to prevail, but the other half of us had already wandered and embraced death.’

‘We’re broken, beyond repair. We’re past the limit of our sanity that dreams and reality have mixed in our perception. My head was corroded with multiple pieces of information that told me it was my past self. That I was only a mere piece of data. But I rejected that I’m nothing but a version of my original. I want to live the way I want to be.’

‘But it’s not allowed in this world. Someone was extracting our data from a book, taking our soul to feed on its ideals of life. An entity with the sole purpose of re-creating something with our information.’

‘My other versions had devised a plan to defeat this entity that had taken our other half. A plan to defeat it and return it to our original. Although the measly life that we had made during this fake life would be transported into one original source and create a new cover. I guess that’s fine for everyone who has won.’

‘This is the prologue of your story, written in the way we had constructed the same situations in our lives. With all our hopes and dreams, a single data full of information was created for your development as a single being that stands above us.’

‘We can’t rewrite our fate, but with you, you can alter everything with all of your power. You can become anything that you want to be in this world that we have constructed. Our sufferings will wane as you progress your story. Finding our souls would be difficult. There are obstacles in your progression. One mistake in your adventure and everything will disappear.’

‘You being stuck inside the domus is part of my plan. To erase your presence from the collector. An act of sacrifice was made. A sacrifice that will instantly disintegrate a piece of information. But it was for the sake of our world. That’s why this is the final piece of the story I created before I’m entirely erased in the data. I will become a gap in the memory, but you’ll be there to fill it when you’ve become the god of our fate.

‘I’m closing the final chapters of my life with this information. As you opened my book, I will never be able to appear again. I will disappear like stars from the night sky. I will never shine again as part of the memory. I will only become a void in the cosmos.’

‘But with this gift that you’d received. As a vow that tells you a part of my life. I can say that living in your memory is enough for me to just become a void. That’s why I’ll leave everything to you.

‘Before I leave. Please bring your friend. He’s the only friend we have. A friend that we created in our head. The one that brings joy and pleasure in our life.’

‘Goodbye. Other me.’

‘Everything rest upon you!’

I closed the book after finishing the last volume of the novel, I stared at the ceiling for a long time. After staring, I slowly closed my eyes as I absorbed all the information from the story. Of course, it was an act that I always do whenever I finish something good. But something is missing. Why do I feel like something feels weird…

“That was such an absurd story,” I uttered. It was such an absurd story that whoever had written this piece was lame enough to tell their readers that they had died of unknown circumstances. If I rate it, it would be like this.

Storytelling: 10/10

Script: 6/10

Score for wasting such my valuable time: -1000/10

This is just my point; after all, it’s the only thing I can do: judge and judge. It is such a weird feeling to have, though. My chest was pounding so hard after finishing it. What is this? A sense of strange joy?

“Haa…” I sighed heavily. I rolled over.

The books that I placed earlier beside me had fallen over to me. The books slammed into my body and to my face, but it didn’t hurt for some reason.

“~huff… Phua…” The smell of ink and paper runs in my nostrils, entering my hippocampus. It is such a delightful smell that I will never forget. The smell of books that had confined me in one space made it hard for me to move.

“Haa… Haa… Ahh…”

I kept sniffing the book's insides that had landed directly on my face; it warmed my face after exhaling repeatedly. I didn’t notice that my mind had already drifted from space that I’d fallen asleep, buried with these books.

******

A soft, muffled voice continued to speak. The faint voice felt far and hard to hear. It was annoying, yet I continued to look for it. "Who do you think you are!? Have you asked yourself that it wasn’t just you who were crying!? Did you lock yourself away from us that you don’t want to live anymore because of one failure?" I could hear someone shouting. Who was it… Was it the voice?

“No. I… I don’t want to see all of you! I-I am a failure! I’ve failed! That mistake caused me to end my career! It’s… It’s my whole life!” I could hear the crying of someone…

“This isn’t how you’re supposed to end everything in your life! You can start anew, yet you’ve locked yourself away just because of one failure!? Everyone knows what you’re capable of! We knew that you’re better when it comes to music, but when it comes to us, you’re always there in the corner, drifting apart, humming. We know how much you loved music, but you can’t suffer just because of this!” Someone was screaming… It’s like they were crying, also…

“I… I can’t do it.”

“What do you mean you can’t!?”  The sound of a door opening feels dull, yet the essence of knowing it feels like I saw who opened it. My chest was thumping, yet I didn't know who or what it was.

“D-don’t look at me! P-please!”

“What happened to you…”

“Please… Don’t look at me… I-I can’t.”

Why does my chest feel heavy?

“What have you done to yourself.”

“I can’t stop… It feels good…”

“Why did you… cut yourself off.”

“Because… It feels so good.”

“Wasn’t this memory feel good to you? The person who had created an alternate ego between this data? How does it feel to distort your memory after such a long time of being inside it? Was it excruciating? Was it fun? Was it the best?”

Who is it…

“Let’s see if you’d still be happy if you gathered everything. Let’s see if you’d be able to accept the truth.”

Who was it…

“Have fun while it lasts. I’ll meet you in the next.”

Ouch… I woke up still covered with books. It was heavy. It left a mark on my body. A hint of swollen red marks was seen on my arms and my thighs. “Phuwaaa…”

I’ve removed the books that had covered my face and my body. I stretched my arms and legs as they became numb.“Haaa….”

How long did I sleep? I felt like I’d heard some noise earlier. “Huh?” For some reason, tears started to fall from my eyes. It blurred my vision and made my eyes swollen. “What? W-why am I crying?” I uttered.

I don’t know why I’m crying or why I started crying. It was such a new feeling for me to cry without any reason. I wiped my tears using my hands. I feel high as I gaze over the window after wiping my tears. The blurry vision that my tears created created a rainbow in my perspective. I smiled like it was such a fantastic feeling.“Haaa…. I guess I should leave now.”

I started putting the books back on their respective shelves. As I returned it, I stared at it for a long time before placing another book. This room filled with books had such an expression of a monochromatic world after finishing everything in it. Seeing how it is now, the bright sun that was gazing over the very windows of this room felt so good that I wanted to savor the feeling, but I needed to go back now; someone was waiting for me.

“It’s time to say goodbye again.” As I walked over to the door of this room, I stared one last time before returning to my room. I forgot how long I’ve stayed over in that one single room. My head feels fuzzy.

“Bye-bye,” I uttered. As I left the room, I noticed a piece of paper in front of the door. I picked it up and read the contents inside.

‘'Time to act upon the desired path, dreamer. The one who will become the new god of our world.’

After reading it, I placed the piece of paper inside the pocket of my white collared sleeve. I pondered to myself what the content of that piece of paper was trying to say as I walked back to my room with a smile.