Xing Wenghu stood on the roof of his parent's house, gazing into the night sky, replaying his final memories from his previous life and the cycle of reincarnation. This moment was his first moment in a new and fresh life. He was reborn, and now had a chance to start fresh, no longer bound by the fate of his previous self. It was a luxury few cultivators ever had the chance to earn.But he was the main character, the chosen one. The fated one, the special one. The Protagonist even dare he believe it. He had been reborn as a cultivator, with new powers and abilities. Xinghad been chosen by the supreme Dao deities to ascend and become one of the most powerful cultivators in existence. Xing Wenghu from a young age had been born with the Heavenly Daoist skeleton, and the Demonic Daoist Martial Body. A potent combination that only 0.0000001% of cultivators in the entire history of existence ever had.Upon Xing Wenghu's very birth, a gigantic flash of light exploded across every dimension,
Feng Peng looked at Xing Wenghu with just a hint of confusion within his eyes. He was not sure what to say. Master Wenghu didn't have much of a plan? "Master Wenghu. So we just wait here for the enemy to come to us and eat all of their resources?" Feng Peng asked hesitantly. Xing Wenghu nodded his head at Feng Peng."Yes. We don't need to do anything. Whoever owns this place is going to come to us, and that will be when we ambush them and take over this place for good. From there, we can win The Cultivator Battle Royale!" It would be a goose chase to search for whoever might have owned this place. Xing Wenghu did not want to waste his energy chasing after people who would come to him on their own!Feng Peng nodded his head in understanding at Xing Wenghu. "Alright then. I am going to finally sleep. My eyes are so tired, and my whole body aches!" Feng Peng immediately ran to the upstairs bedroom of the house that they were inside of. Xing Wenghu took the opprotunity to sit himself on t
Xing Wenghu held his arm out to stop the party from moving forward. Their conversation had been cut off by Xing Wenghu. Xing Wenghu was currently looking ahead of him, the party was standing behind a bunch of trees. Ahead of them was a clearing, in which a suspiciously clean and immaculate House was standing in the middle of nowhere. There were no obvious traps, nobody standing around.The entire area looked as if nobody had touched it at all. Chaddy Wei looked up from behind Xing Wenghu up ahead. "Woah Brother Xing, looks like we found shelter already!" Chaddy Wei looked up excitedly at the Log Cabin that was up ahead of them. "This means we can finally take a shower properly Brother Xing! I don't want to cultivate The Dao of The Gamer Stench!" Feng Peng laughed at the ridiculousness of Chaddy Wei's statement. "A shower? Where!?" The Ultimate Vine Mistress called out immediately. But Xing Wenghu ssh'd them. "Everyone. It could be a trap. This looks too clean and too well prepared fo
Xing Wenghu stood still and looked out at the forest for a few minutes. He did this to be cool and dramatic, but also to make it look like he was having a moment of deep change and inner peace inside. By letting Billy go, Xing Wenghu had equally in a way let go of many things weighing him down. Xing Wenghu stared with the most solemn eyes into the horizon. While his companions awkwardly stood behind him. "Are we....Are we doing something?" The Ultimate Vine Mistress said, looking around like she was expecting something to happen. Immediately, Chaddy Wei shushed her. "Sssh! Brother Xing is having a moment!" Chaddy Wei knew from his intuition that Xing Wenghu was having a moment of deep contemplation, especially with how distant he looked into the forest.Xing Wenghu had alot on his mind that he just couldn't work himself out of. He thought to himself what he should do, but there was so much coming back to him. If he was willing to let a side character like Billy go, would he spare Sun
Young Xing pointed his hand at Billy and his friends. Who all sneered and laughed at Xing Wenghu. He happened to also be the shortest kid in the entire class. So everybody metaphorically and literally looked down on him. "Whats the matter Immortal Emperor? Are you going to hit me? Are you gonna hit me huh little emperor?" Billy and his friends arrogantly laughed.Young Xing was brimming with anger. He raised his hand and immediately went to smack-"Wait wait. Now isn't the time for another flashback. I have to finish beating the shit out of you!" Xing Wenghu declared. He immediately broke out of the flash back. Now was not the time for a long and boring flashback about why he hated Billy. Xing Wenghu raised his hand to attempt to strike down Billy. He didn't need to explain himself to the audience. After all what kind of Main Character explains his actions before he acts! As Xing Wenghu raised his hand to attempt to kill Billy, he immediately on cue began to cry and squeal."No please
Xing Wenghu looked shocked at the figure standing in front of him. He pointed his finger out, shaking with slight anger and agitation. "You! You are courting death to come here! Only a fool would stand before me after what you did. And yet you have the boldness. As if you are a chicken standing before the chef, testing if you will be cooked!" Xing Wenghu directly shouted at the figure standing in front of the group. It was a young man who was of a similar age to Xing. His outfit was generic and forgettable. He did not have any significant features outside of a bowl hair cut and a skinny body build. Chaddy Wei looked skeptically at Xing Wenghu, unsure of the source of his agitation. "Brother Xing. Are you alright? This young man bears the resemblance of the side characters you talk about." Chaddy Wei doubted that the person before them was capable of anything. His senses had been enhanced from his Chad transformation. He could not feel a remote heartbeat of qi coming from the perso
Xing Wenghu was alarmed by what the Fat Cultivator told him. If Sun Yaozu was aware of his location, then it was only a matter of time until a dangerous foe attempted to ambush him. Xing Wenghu was not afraid, but the dao of the plot mandated that he not confront Sun Yaozu's imminent threat immediately. It would spoil the dramatic build up of the hidden powerful foe Sun Yaozu had recruited to fight against him."Brother Wei. We must not stay here. We have to find Feng Peng and whats her name and get a move on." Xing Wenghu said authoratively to Chaddy Wei as the two of them prepared to rejoin their companions. "How long has it been since we entered the trial?" Xing Wenghu asked the fat cultivator. The cultivator took a breath before replying."It has only been about three hours since you two entered the trial. You should have enough time to cover your tracks and make a run for it." The Fat Cultivator said. Xing Wenghu and Chaddy Wei nodded at each other before making their way back th
Xing Wenghu and Chaddy Wei were floating through the digital vortext. Both of them were swirling and flying in a mystical matrix of Data. "Brother Xing. What is going on!!!" Chaddy Wei shouted, flailing his arms around while floating in the mysterious portal. The two were being whisked away from the digital world they were in.Xing Wenghu floated calmly, despite erratically flying all over the place. "Don't worry Brother Wei. We are leaving the trial now and returning back to the Battle Royale. We just have to wait-" With a violent woosh, Xing Wenghu and Chaddy Wei found themselves back in their bodies in the mountain cavern they had previously been standing in.Chaddy Wei took a deep exasperated breath and ripped off the helmet that had been on his head, while Xing Wenghu took off the helmet calmly. "We're alive. We're alive Brother Xing! Hahaha!" Chaddy Wei shouted with happiness. Xing Wenghu looked at the make of the helmet he had worn, before tossing it away. The Fat Cultivator fr
Sun Yaozu stood in the dirtiest den of criminals in the Cultivator World. The floor was unwashed and grimy. Rats littered the building he was standing in. But to get to the black market, you had to not be afraid to get your hands dirty. He stood in front of one of the brokers of the Cultivator Underworld, arranging carefully a deal with him that would soon solve a headache for him."And you're telling me you want to kill one boy in the Cultivator Battle Royale?" The Cultivator Broker looked at Sun Yaozu skeptically. He could not believe what he was hearing. In his entire life, he had yet to hear of someone wanting to assassinate a delusional contestant of the Battle Royale. "It's hard to keep an assassination like that hidden. There are cameras all over the Cultivator Battle Royale. Anyone who is sent will be seen and recorded." The broker was surprised by the boldness of Sun Yaozu, to attempt such a open assassination on such a weak and feeble target. It was statistically likely they
Xing Wenghu turned to Chaddy Wei proudly, "Let's get out of here Brother Wei". Although he was tempted by the darkness and angst deep within him to kill Sun Yaozu. He could not spoil his fateful confrontation. For the sake of the Plot, he had to leave Sun Yaozu alive. The Dao of the Plot would remove Xing Wenghu's Plot armor if he wasted his time killing Sun Yaozu now. Who would be his final villain to beat the shit out of?Those who strayed from the plot, very easily and very quickly fell into qi deviation. Chaddy Wei nodded at Xing Wenghu as the two of them approached the portal, only to be cut off by a voice behind them."Y-You fool Xing Wenghu! I will kill you after you're done with this stupid game. But my children will kill you long before you have a chance!" Sun Yaozu spat with anger at Xing Wenghu, who only regarded him as a mere side character. The lowest of statuses he could bestow upon someone."Silence. I will beat the shit out of you later." Xing Wenghu coldly turned arou
Smiles
Shameless Self Promo. A Silly cultivator satire anyone can pick up and read.
Jamiul Hasan Ayon
Very Amusing. Feels like I am reading another A will eternal. But this one is more parodical, with its mention of usual xianxia tropes. A fun read. And I like how this uses the third pov story telling but still makes me feel like the story is narrated in 1st pov. Very skillful use of narration.
ChadGuy45
Probably the most funny novel I've read.