He looked her in the eye and his lips curled into a cynical grin. “Perhaps I have not learned how to see you any differently from what I used to see you.” And then after all that… after Seth… maybe it altered the way that I look at you.” Phoebe could feel the knot in her chest, growing tighter and tighter as a result of frustration and pain. She had wanted to be honest, to reveal all, but his scepticism remained and their passion turned into a venomous toxin. She didn’t know how much longer she could continue to resist the barrier he had put up in himself. It was so low that it was barely audible, “If you can’t see me as I am, then maybe you’re just not seeing me at all.” They looked at each other over the table and the air was charged with electricity that seemed to crackle and split them apart. Phoebe experienced the strong impulse to touch him, to hold his hand, to say that she still loved him even if all the bad things that happened. But there was an unconcern in his eyes which

A small voice within her wanted to shout, to shake him to make him understand what he was putting them through. However, she choked on her words and did not let anger show on her face. “So what now? Are you going to continue to punish me for a mistake that I can’t control? For a mistake I made years ago?” Christian’s jaw tightened. “Maybe I’m just beginning to know you.” A person who has something to say, but does not state it and is a person who cannot be trusted.” “You are not being fair,” she said, her voice trembling. I didn’t do anything wrong to you that I am trying to keep from you.” You just don’t want to see it.” “Don’t I?” he said, and his voice was cold. “Or maybe you’ve just become so good at masking that you are now in denial that there is nothing left to mask.” She inhaled deeply, trying hard not to scream with frustration. “Christian, I can’t keep going like this, I can’t go on living like this anymore.” It’s like every day you are waiting for me to fail, to show yo

She gazed at him with the expression of disbelief and resentment. “Now? Now you’re concerned? How dare you after all that you have done, all the harm you have brought into my life now you want to call and make sure I am okay? Seth smiled, and approached me slightly. “I know you’re angry. You have every right to be. But I didn’t do this to hurt you, Phoebe. I thought he must be told the truth.” “The truth?” She laughed bitterly, raising her voice. Seth, you used the truth to turn him against me.” You did not respect what we had. You just wanted to tear us apart.” He turned his face to the side, and shame was written all over him. I did not expect things to get this far. I thought… maybe if he can hear all of it, he would comprehend. That it would make you both closer in some way.” The tears welled up in Phoebe’s eyes once more but she shook her head to hold them back. “You don’t get it. This wasn’t your decision to make. You stole the opportunity I could have explained it to him wh

But they kept coming, and coming, and coming, and each time it only filled her with this profound, impenetrable sorrow.She could recall the nights Seth had warded off sleep just to make sure he was with her when she studied, the mornings they made their plans. She had never thought about the fact that he had believed in them, that he had included her in his life as something natural and irreversible. To him it was love that was worth more than everything else, but to her it was… a phase. Dispensable. She was aware that if Seth could only see her now, he would understand that there was a lot of humor in the situation. He would see how the roles were reversed and she, the one feeling useless and left out by a loyalty that was never extended to her. She was gradually coming to appreciate that love, actual love, was not merely an act of companionship but it was about being ready to stand up for the person you loved and make them feel secure. She had not done that for Seth and now Chri

Then, they went round a corner and stumbled in front of an old shop that was a favorite of Phoebe. Its shelves were full of worn out novels and the odor of paper and ink was coming from the half opened door. There was something familiar about it, something that she could come back to without the sting of the memories. “Want to go in?” Emma questioned while pointing out Phoebe’s lingering looks. Phoebe nodded her head, she was feeling a certain kind of way she couldn’t quite describe as she looked at Ben. Inside the store, she ambled around the store, hands gliding over the books’ backs. She stopped at one that she recognized from the novel which she had read when she was still in her budding stage of relationship with Seth. The memories flooded back: old Sunday mornings, coffee, laughter and dreams that used to be so bright and promising. Staring into space, she almost didn’t hear the voice behind her when it spoke. “You look like you’re looking for something,” said a voice softly