All Chapters of The Church, the Mage, and the Snarky AI: Chapter 11
- Chapter 20
40 chapters
Chapter 11: A Long Night, Sleepless
"Young master, you can return to your rest. Leave Mr. Fur to us," a middle-aged man in a butler's uniform stepped forward after the interminable silence, defusing the awkward scene.Young master?Kyle's interest was piqued."Yes, I'll leave it to you then."Sure, watching a man wallow in a veritable ocean of human waste was entertaining enough, the kind of spectacle that would normally merit a few extra gawks and maybe a sneaky picture or two for the 'gram. But as the perpetrator, Kyle could hardly stand back and enjoy the show - best to make himself scarce. And if he was being honest, he didn't much care what became of the victim. Roaming the halls at witching hour playing at ghosts only to get doused in excrement… that was just karma at work.Besides, Kyle had bigger fish to fry. Namely, his own situation.Judging by the onlookers' behavior and the manor's lavish decor, he had a sneaking suspicion about his current circumstances.He was back with House Lither.Granted, the specifics
Last Updated : 2024-12-11
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Chapter 12: Benjamin and Grant
In the span of a single instant, Kyle envisioned countless potential outcomes for this encounter.The strange man might blanch in terror and flee. He might lunge at Kyle, knife flashing, leading to a desperate struggle. With luck, some member of House Lither would come bursting in to subdue the intruder…Eyeing that gleaming blade, Kyle harbored no illusions about the man's intent.Ill intent? More like murderous intent.Arson, assault and battery seemed well within the realm of possibility.In that frozen moment, Kyle's mind suddenly kicked into overdrive. What to do? Try to fight him off? Not bloody likely - in his scrawny, freshly-isekai'd body, taking the man head-on would be tantamount to assisted suicide.Scream for help, then? Probably his best bet, certainly better than trying to brain the blighter with a water sphere. Though who could say if any guards were close enough to respond in time…But just as he was about to let loose a mighty bellow, his knife-wielding visitor did s
Last Updated : 2024-12-11
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Chapter 13: Becoming Benjamin Lither
The night passed in the blink of an eye."Young Master Benjamin, 'tis time to greet the day. The Dowager requests your presence at the morning repast."The butler's voice, accompanied by a brisk knock at the door, yanked Kyle back to cold reality as he lay abed.Was it dawn already?He laughed bitterly to himself. Who would have thought that simply assimilating Benjamin Lither's memories would keep him toiling from dusk till daybreak, not a moment spared for rest?The fault lay not with the AI, as such. The condensed memory package was indeed sufficiently abbreviated, providing a general overview of his circumstances within half an hour's time. No, the crux of the issue was that it was perhaps a touch TOO concise. Kyle had scoured the recollections for any hint of the scoundrel who had sent the assassin after him, but to no avail.Thus, he had been compelled to refine his search, querying the AI for more granular details buried within the memories.Alas, this line of inquiry proved ak
Last Updated : 2024-12-12
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Chapter 14: First Contact with the Church
Holy light envelops the world.Legend has it that this was the first divine decree issued by the Almighty at the founding of the Church. In the turbulent years of war, the first Pope recited these words as he held aloft the faintly glowing sacred light, allowing it to ascend into the night sky during humanity's darkest hour.In the millennium since its establishment, the Church has grown from a humble charity in the eyes of the masses into a colossus that dominates the continent. Three centuries ago, the Horian Kingdom was founded around the Holy See, becoming the mightiest nation on the landmass. Though the kingdom has a royal family, everyone knows they are mere marionettes dancing to the Church's tune, forever prostrating themselves at the feet of the divine.It can be said that every child born in this realm is a subject of the Almighty. From their baptism at a hundred days old, to their wedding vows, to their funeral rites, the will of the divine permeates it all. This is how the
Last Updated : 2024-12-12
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Chapter 15: The Method of Digging for Inheritance
Before long, Benjamin left the confessional.He blended into the bustling crowd, leaving St. Peter's Cathedral without drawing any attention.This conversation with the Archbishop had been quite fruitful for him. Firstly, he learned that he was cursed. Though this was bad news, it was still better than finding out only after something went wrong. You could say it was a form of gain, in a sense. Secondly, and most importantly, he had obtained information about Michelle.After the Archbishop nodded his assent, he shared some intelligence regarding Michelle with Benjamin. Only then did Benjamin learn that Michelle had a long history of nefarious deeds. Starting from five years ago, she had been active in the vicinity of the capital: assaulting nobles, stealing treasures, spreading rumors, preaching heretical ideas… Not only that, she had survived the Church's relentless pursuit for five years without a scratch, never even going into extended hiding.You coul
Last Updated : 2024-12-13
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Chapter 16: Revenge of the "Shitfaced"
Grumbling under his breath, Benjamin entered the living room to face his father."Father, I've returned."The duke, seated in the place of honor, regarded Benjamin silently. Not a hint of warmth graced his features, only a glimmer of reproach that set Benjamin's nerves on edge.What in the world had happened?Benjamin had carefully studied the memories related to his father, Claude Lither. The man was head of the family, a duke of the realm, and occupied a position of utmost prestige among the Horian Kingdom's aristocracy. A staunch traditionalist through and through.As a dyed-in-the-wool noble, Claude held fast to the old ways. Loyal to crown and church. Prideful of his blue blood and the chasm it carved between himself and the common man. Obsessed with reputation and appearances, clinging to the tattered remnants of nobility's bygone glory. In short, the man was a hopeless relic, his thinking mired in the prejudices of a feudal past.On a
Last Updated : 2024-12-13
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Chapter 17: The Old Lady's Antics
"Well then, this old crone has no business here anymore. I'm a bit tired, so I'll go rest now."Just as Dick was eagerly clutching the chamber pot, ready to pounce, the old lady who had been sitting silently on the sidelines - Benjamin's grandmother - suddenly spoke up.Benjamin was a bit surprised, and everyone else's attention was immediately diverted as well."If you're tired, Old Madam, please go rest. These are all trivial matters. No one would fault you for not wanting to be here," Ikes Fur immediately chimed in before Claude could open his mouth."At my ripe old age, I have to show my face when something happens, otherwise people might start thinking I've gone to meet my maker. Wouldn't you agree?" the old lady retorted, her tone as nonchalant as ever, as if she were mocking him, or perhaps just stifling a yawn.Ikes hurriedly shook his head, saying, "Old Madam jests…"Benjamin stood to the side, quietly listening to their exchange. The moment his grandmother spoke up, the conf
Last Updated : 2024-12-14
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Chapter 18: Your Grandmother Has Gone God Mode
It wasn't just Ikes who was dumbfounded - Benjamin's jaw practically hit the floor.At this point, even a complete idiot could see what his grandmother was up to.She had deliberately tripped Dick to save Benjamin's skin. And what a masterful job she'd done of it too. The way she'd swung that cane - with Ikes standing between her and Dick, mind you - and still managed to hit her target? Either this was the most miraculous accident in history, or his grandmother had skills that would make a ninja jealous.No doubt about it, she'd done it on purpose. By tripping Dick and making the chamber pot smash into him again, she'd firmly placed herself on Benjamin's side. Now, if the Fur family wanted to punish Benjamin, they'd have to punish her too. Otherwise, they'd be violating their precious "noble's honor".And there was no way in hell they'd dare throw a chamber pot at the old lady. If they accidentally caused her serious harm, there'd be hell to pay. The Church would get involved, and the
Last Updated : 2024-12-15
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Chapter 19: The Basement and the Potatoes
From the moment Ikes apologized to the time his entourage left, the entire ordeal took no more than fifteen minutes.Under the old lady's "gentle" persuasion, Ikes finally caved. He swallowed his pride and apologized, ordering his people to clean Dick up. In the end, they carried Dick out, slinking away from the Lither family's front door like dogs with their tails between their legs.Judging by their silence and haste as they departed, it was clear just how utterly humiliated they felt. Yet the old lady, the mastermind behind their shame, seemed blissfully oblivious, instead wearing a benevolent smile as she saw them off."Take care on the road, my dears. The Lither family's door is always open to you."Ikes shot the old lady a vicious glare, not saying a word, and strode out the door without so much as a backward glance.Just like that, the Fur family was gone.Benjamin was positively giddy. Of course, he made a valiant effort to keep a straight face, not letting his unbridled glee
Last Updated : 2024-12-15
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Chapter 20: It's Your Mother, Dearest
Just as Benjamin was getting a serious case of the willies from those unblinking eyes, the owner of said peepers suddenly spoke up from the other side of the iron door:"Shh, I just managed to send Jessica on a fool's errand, but she'll be back any minute. I can't linger."It was a gentle, womanly voice. It tickled something in the back of Benjamin's mind, but he couldn't quite place it."Who the heck is this?" he mentally prodded the AI."It's your dear mother, genius," the AI replied dryly."…"With the AI's oh-so-helpful reminder, the pieces finally clicked into place for Benjamin. The owner of that voice was none other than Marie - Claude's wife, the old lady's daughter-in-law, and Benjamin's own mother. The very same Marie who had briefly spoken up in the living room earlier.His mother had given his jailer the slip to come check on him in secret.According to the abridged version of his backstory the AI had so grac
Last Updated : 2024-12-15
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