Aliena Numina

2 - The Cave

                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                              07.46

                                                                                                               Morning

With our bags and equipment on our backs and guns in our hands, the excitement of both Jason and Simon who had discovered the cave, we kept walking by the river that was running slowly. They didn't care about the snow falling from the tree branches on them. They were excited and happy. That was the most obvious behavior they've had ever since I've known them.

The slopes rising on the right side were still gray-white in color and were like a wall clock that occasionally made bird sounds. The calm waters that flowed in line with us down there were a hidden curiosity. When we got to the location of the cave, its dark entrance, resembling a monster’s mouth was tiny and not of much interest.

"There's no way they're here." Kate said in a desperate voice. "I don't think anyone's ever been here before." She was right because since the snow kept falling, there was no traces of them around the cave. But it was our last day and we still couldn’t find anything. So, we wanted to make sure if they had been here.

"Don't think like that.” Said Roder. “Caves always find a way to get visitors. That's the way it is in every era." He looked her. He could move very easily with the bags on his back. He also provided convenience for Kate, who was systematically throwing her feet in the snow and walking behind him.

"Roder's right, it's worth checking." Marcus suggested once again. I didn't know who was right, but the snow that had been falling all night had already covered all the tracks, if any. When I was climbing up there, I realized there was really a thick snow, which made me want to use my preference over Marcus. Besides, I was one of those people who was curious about it. My interest in caves has been going on since I was dealing with symbols. Although I didn't do that anymore, it was still one of my most interesting subjects.

I went in without waiting because I was one of the first to arrive. The entrance was tiny and only noticeable when the snow fell. At any other time, it would be hard to find it here, among these tree trunks.

When I walked in and breathed in the cool air of the cave, which was bigger in the backwards and was in a total darkness, it felt as if there had been many incidents here before.      

Sometimes you would feel such things.

When Marcus, Roder and Simon started looking around with the flashlights as they got in after me, I was already on my way to the growing sides of the distance. For the first time, I was filled with excitement as if I was seeing something new. While I was careful, the desire to explore inside me began to accelerate in a way that I didn't understand. What I realized at one point was that I was getting closer to the total darkness. There were dust and ashes on the floor from fires that had been lit before. But these seemed to be from a long time ago. So much so that, pieces of wood that hadn't burned back then turned into dust as I walked past on them.

Roder said something to warn everyone be careful, but I didn't pay much attention. I wanted to go through the whole cave and find out what it was. Somehow, I started to sense something invisible inside of me that drew me there and started convincing me that I was going to find something in the dark. I was about to walk even faster when Nina and Kate's excited shouting kept me from doing it. I looked back anxiously. They stood on a flat place in front of the cave wall, staring with their lights turned on that side. They were breathing fast. It was as if the sound was being pulled here and then disappeared into the void. It was as if the darkness was swallowing everything.

Even from where I was, different symbols and writings were clearly obvious on the wall they illuminated. I got so excited that I immediately accelerated towards them and that voice in me faded as I walked away from that total darkness.

The distance was getting longer and longer as I kept walking. I was sure of it and it was really weird. It was as if the darkness I left behind had a slowing effect as I accelerated. It was as if everything was from fast to slow in this direction and it was the opposite of what I felt when I walked down the cave before. Even time was moving in slow motion as I moved in the opposite direction. Maybe my passion for something was reversing time, and that's why it was going on for a few seconds. Every step of the way was filled with dozens of different ideas. The symbols seen there tied me up. That's what I knew. I knew it as I was there, in that dark, cold cave, taking my steps forward.

When I finally got there, I just froze. Time locked me in there as if it were taking me on a journey. After a while, I realized that my voice was coming out and that I was speaking with the instinctive effects of words. My voice trembled in my own ear.

"That's incredible!" I said while kept looking.

"Ed?" asked Kate. More than bewilderment, expressions began to appear in her voice. But the writings and symbols I saw in front of me stunned me more than she was. Everything was so different. This place was just staring at us like an archive of history. This dark world was full of some hard-to-describe scenes that flowed through time like the pages of a history of an unknown universe.

"Writings and symbols are written at different timelines…" I said. "They all tell a similar story on their own way."

There were a lot of writings on the wall. It was written in a variety of other languages. But what was surprising about all of them was the symbols. It was like they were all from a different world. It looked like they came in independently out of time, showing the improbable.    

And they were all more or less telling the same thing.

I was so attracted to the writings and symbols, each from another timeline and culture, that I could not hear those who called out to me around me. They were making noises and arguing, but I didn't understand them. Trying to make a logical explanation kept me from their world.

At one point, I saw Marcus read something, translated it, and Nina explained the French one. Jason was calling out to me, but I couldn't get out of the mystery on that wall.

It was all complicated at first. There were samples written by someone from different times, from different places. However, this country was not even discovered before 1768. The ashes inside and the branches of rotten trees contrasted with this. There was something more than we were not aware as of the moment. And my mind was partly focused on this one as well.

Almost all of the samples had something in common that whoever had written and carved these had no idea what actually happened. They were probably as confused as I was at that moment. All this was taking me in and turning around me like a vortex. The writings were flying, the icons, the symbols were taking on different shapes. As everything went by a storm in each other, some of the words I knew what they meant seemed to take me away from that mess.

I escape… It (is) like a dark wall… But it swallows me… My own weight is gone. I don't know where (I am)… This (is) an empty world...

That's when I started to understand. Something brought all those who have written or carved these together here. Although each writing and symbol belonged to different places and times, someone had come here from there or from that time.

But how? Why?

"Hey, Ed! . . . Ed! Come to your senses! Are you always like this? Do you know what any of this means?" That was Esme who was asking me. Her voice took me away from my inner voice and brought me back. Once again, I came back to the reality and looked at their confused and amazed faces.

"I don't know how to express all of these!" I said. My voice seemed strange even to me. But I didn't give much of thought to this part. I felt the need to continue. "I'm completely baffled as how to explain all of this. Look at this date, for example. It says February 13^th, 1667 in old English. It's messing with everything I know about history. So, it completely confuses my way of thinking. Because James Cook discovered this country back in 1768. He was probably the first old-world person to ever step on these islands. So that's what history tells us. But this sample is written about a hundred years before that. Look at the latest one. 03.03.1983 in European date record. I don't know what it is about, but considering the others, there's no need for that. I can say it’s probably telling the same thing."

Although the last date was written in Latin, it did not know its meaning. But it was giving me a clue. It looked like Polish which I had no information about. The sentence was written at the bottom and there was no new record under it. Which explained what I was thinking. Probably that was the last visit as the last record. Or if anyone came, they must have been afraid and tried to scrape from here instead carving something on this wall. But whatever had happened, someone had carved out some parts of history here, and it was definitely worth examining.

Maybe the scientists who disappeared here had come for such a phenomenon and somehow disappeared. But either way, we came here first. That was for sure.

"What do you mean?" asked Roder. After a long minute.

"This place was discovered as we know it before it was actually discovered." I replied.

"But how?" he asked in a voice looking for answers. He was curious, too.

"I don't know." I said. “That's what it says. Each one of them has come from a different place, a different timeline. It's kind of like time travel… And believe me, I know how it sounds."

"That's bullshit!" Said Jason. "That can't happen! Someone has probably come here and made a good prank by carving these shits."

His voice was full of toughness that I didn't want to make a counter argument against, but I was sure someone else was thinking about it. That's why I didn't want to express anything right away.

"What about these symbols?" Asked Nina. I looked up again on that question.

"Of course! Look at them." I said and turned Kate. "Kate, can you point the light up?" Kate and Nina both turned their lights higher at the same time.

"This is an Egyptian Hieroglyphics writing sample. Thousands of years old…  Look at this one below. Here's a Native American Kekinowin symbol or icons. This place must have been visited through the ages. Because the writings and symbols unquestionably explain it. Who else would come here and draw these?"

"Ed! Let's be more specific." Simon suggested.

"Give me a minute. Let's figure this out first." I ignored what he suggested.

"Then decipher it! What are you waiting for?" He probably was mad at me because I ignored him. That was how Jason and Simon were. They had no patience in general.

"Give him some time! He’ll solve it." Marcus said and I thanked him from my heart without saying anything out loud.

I started to let my mind go deeper with it. It had been a long time ago since I left all the linguistic works, but it still seemed easy to understand.

"That's a Native American Kekinowin logo graphic inscription down there. It was written on big stones. They're called muzzinabic." I adjusted my tone and tried to stay calm. "They haven't been fully resolved yet. It was used before America was discovered. Then it gradually began to be forgotten. This sample was mostly used by magicians and clergy. Its first name was, ugh… I think its first name was Kekiwin. Almost every icon was enchanted and used as a sign of magic back then. It consists of a writing system in which very few people know all the meanings. Written symbols are incompatible with the language used. It is used only as a mnemotechnics."

"As what?" interrupted Nina curiously.

"Mnemotechnics. In other words, it is a way of improving memory by using a number of connotations, doing all kinds of exercises."

"Well, what does it say here then?" she asked again. I looked her in the eye. They were curious, charming and impatient. They were full of insistence on continuing.

"Give me some more time, please." I said and tried to slow down my heart's rapid beats. I wasn't sure if it was Nina or if it was from this cave's own magic. I turned my head again and looked up.

The writing was sorted from top to bottom. The symbols were immediately apparent. But it would be hard to put them in a sentence pattern. I started with my gut, not knowing if I was going to put together the meaning of symbols or create something new out of shape.

"This one right there…" I said, pointing with my hand. "It means the sun." Then I continued. "The first symbol explains the sun." My voice became completely academic. "The second is the rain. But you don't see them together very often. So, it might be better for us to understand the case if I think it tells a story. In this case, if I spread the meanings and symbols over a certain time period, it may be easier to understand the event."

       

                      [related sample of Native American Kekinowin logo graphic inscription ]

"So, you mean?" asked Esme. She was impatient, too. That's why I started telling it faster with margin of error.

"There's a sign of rain on a sunny day. It's set next to a house. Then this person is flying up and down like an eagle. If we think of something like a storm, then this person must have been blown out of the air. Then something bad has happened." I pointed to the fifth figure, two up and one down, drawn with a line to look like scale pans. "And this bad thing has brought him to some kind of intersecting paths or roads. Look at this." I showed her the shape that represented a boat and what was on it. "He has stated the talismanic ingenuity and the time together on the boat. He has tried to describe a magical time. So, there's a time that has surprised him. And the black bird is about swallowing or vacuuming. But it has happened so fast. Because that's what arrows and lightning mean. As a result of this speed, a certain period of time has passed. Hollow and full circles mean day and night. But perhaps most interesting is the symbol of the snake that is moving upwards and pierces the soil. This icon is drawn into the shape that means blue sky. I don't think there's ever been a symbol like this before. So, I can explain this as follows: This snake actually represents a transition from a place to another place, and this transition has happened in the air or something fluid. And finally, in death, there's a man's form that seems exhausted. This shape, which shows the keyhole, represents the man."

I finished my explanation and looked them all in the face. There were still seven pairs of eyes staring at me with lots of question marks and they seemed even more confused.

"Whoever this is..." I said, starting again. I tried to explain it in its shortest form. "There's probably a wizard or a clergyman living somewhere. It probably has started in a place like this. The wind that started later, or something, has blown him away. That's where it has happened. Because look," I pointed to the boat and the three icons on it. "The power of time with talismanic ingenuity in a boat… So, considering it's like a boat or something, something magical must have given it the power of time. Look at the next icon: That bird refers to swallowing or be swallowed, and in the shapes below, there is speed. So, there's a time that has accelerated. With the most obvious version, there's been a strong change in time. A snake that pierces the soil in the blue sky represents a transition from a place to another place, and when this transition is finally over, this person's strength is gone. Because it shows exhaustion."

"What exactly has this person done?" asked Roder in a voice that indicated he was thinking of something.

"I don't know. Maybe some kind of time travel or teleportation. That's what the other samples support." I said. The words just came out of my mouth.

"It's impossible! You know it’s not possible, right? That can't happen!" Jason again talked in an angry voice. Somehow his behaviors were confused, but we were all in a position to ignore his behaviors right now.

"Come on! Look at them. Is the time travel impossible while these written things here that are thousands of years old possible?" Nina talked to him. I kind of liked the way she supported me. That's exactly what I needed right now. "Today, everyone is working on teleportation or time travel stuff. Some people have even accomplished something."

"Maybe Ed's right," Marcus said. "There couldn't be any other explanation." He continued taking his gaze away from me. "What Nina said is true. People now accept that teleportation or other things like that are not just possible but also a matter of time. In fact, many institutions spend a lot of money on this."

"I think…,” said Kate. "It would be better if we discuss this after deciphering these Egyptian symbols."

"Okay, so what are we waiting for?" asked Nina impatiently. I looked at her and smiled. She knew I was curious about all the writing. That's why we turned back there right away.

Ancient Egyptian symbols or writings written at the top indicated that this person came perhaps first. The writing had already been dusted and worn in some places. When I noticed it was carved deeply on the wall, I knew right away that this person was probably a stonemason.

A thousand years writing continued after a thousand years sample, and continued with writings written centuries and ended in 1983, although the date of the two samples was not known, somehow according to the deadline, the event had happened recently. Maybe the person who wrote this could explain better. But I knew I'd think about it later, so I tried to focus on the symbols.

"Okay, give me a moment." I said. I took the flash from Nina that was still warm. Kate also kept brightening the wall.

"It's an ideogram." I started. At the very beginning of the form, a man was drawn, expressing the first singular person.

"What's an ideogram?" asked Nina, and continued. "You know, we've never dealt with this kind of thing like you. So why don't you just say it the way we understand."

"Okay, but it's been many years. I quit before I even really understood what this job was. I may have forgotten most of it." I said. She looked at me with a smile assuring me that it was okay to make mistakes.

"I'm sure you are still better than the others." She said in a pep talk. I went back to writing sample without further distraction. I still had the curious gazes of others. And that's why I put aside this compliment from Nina as much as I liked it.

"Ideogram; means a typeface denoting its forms that cannot be parsed into phonemes in the writing system. Ancient Egyptians used a writing system with both audio and ideographic characters. The writing was hardly altered between the time it first came out and the last time. It was first used in the time of Ptolemaios. The shapes were then placed next to each other or on top of each other to bring the voices of the characters together. So, they could get any sound they wanted. Egyptians also wrote in different colors for their purpose. Hieroglyphics columns or horizontal rows could sometimes be typed from right to left and sometimes from left to right. They would usually select these using symbols that indicated which direction to start text from."

"Well, which way does this start?" asked Simon. Everyone had the same curious look on their face, and it made me explain.

I started by pointing to the guy sitting in the top right. “Look at the right upper side.” I said. Before long, I realized something else.

The sounds of symbols were completely meaningless. This was probably the first form of writing. Perhaps because it was a different event, more universal signs were used. It could just be an idea I was thinking about right at the moment. Fear or excitement could have made you look different than you were. It made me feel the same way as the one who has written it. Maybe it could help after all.

"He’s a kind of stone carving man…" I mumbled.

It was just a probability. With what was left of a culture that lived thousands of years ago, there was no further commentary on them. Besides, whoever wrote these had encountered such a thing for the first time. He was saying extraordinary things he wasn't used to. That was exciting. The course of history was changing with invisible ropes. As we pushed the boundaries of technology, making smaller discoveries, somewhere someone was wandering at levels we hadn't yet reached. In a place where times were intertwined, perhaps everything was more possible. But now that I'd given up those possibilities and deciphered these symbols, it would have saved me from all these comments. That's why I kept talking.

"There is no sound compatibility." I said in a slight voice. Everyone was quiet. Even Jason didn't say anything. From the outside, warm and humid air was coming in. It was as if there was an airflow in the cave, and it was always moving in the same order. I took a deep breath and talked.

“This guy should probably just be someone who knows the meaning of shapes.” I continued. "So, it's a shape based and long narrative. But it can be solved." I focused on the symbols. We all had forgotten our real mission here and were now focused on this wall. Even if Marcus didn't enjoy me doing it, he wouldn't make a sound. That made me think healthier. Without thinking, I hummed slowly in the nearest meaning of shapes. 

                                                                                      

                                       [Text of hieroglyph as image]                                                          

 "Sunset, pyramid, big door, leaving-away, door, following, room-temple, spread, dead-mummy-bury, peace of the tomb, spoil-overcome, wall, demolition, cave-land of the dead, walking, piece-gazing, eye, noticing-paying attention-dream, hidden, door, chisel-carving, passing through wall, falling, cliff, smells-ointments, spreading, time-season, brightness-light, divine-sacred, infinite, flames, cave-fall, very, fear, trembling, color-skin-pain, getting up-falling, distance, book- the most sacred-knowledge, drawing-writing, time-season, cliff-hole-welding, walking, dead-mummy-bury, falling."                                                                    

"Ed, is this a word game?" asked Marcus as I finished.

"No,” I said. “I think if I can put this into sentences, we can find out what he wants to tell us." I didn't know what Marcus was really thinking.

To form sentences from words and to understand what is meant to be told…

Maybe it was easy. But having more than one meaning of some symbols could turn the text into something completely different. Still, there was another easy way to find out. This was the last article we looked at, and all the other writings we knew meant were intersecting somewhere. That would show what the text meant.

 I continued the shaped version in my mind.

"At sunset, I followed the door away from the big gate of the pyramid and spread out (I entered) the room or the temple. I disturbed the peace of the dead mummy's tomb. The wall fell, and I walked to the land of the dead in the cave." I closed my eyes trying to digest it.

"It's harder to make sentences than I thought." I said, opening my eyes again.

"Just tell what is wanted to be told...” Suggested Nina. “I mean, whatever the others said, it's probably what they said." Her idea set me on the move again. Somehow Nina was always able to awaken the spirit of discovering inside me.

"Okay. So far, there's been an incident." I said, trying to make a sensible inference again.

"Piece-looking... Noticing a little bit, and I chose for the secret door with a chisel. I went beyond the wall and fell. The smells spread from the cliff. Time-season, time shined from divine-sacred eternal flames. I fell to the ground in the cave, all, be very afraid, trembled from bitter-color-pain. I got up…" I rolled my eyes again and looked around. I still had the curious stares on me.

"I think it tells us what he's been through. After that..."

 "Yes, Ed, after that?" interrupted Esme impatiently and curiously.

"From now on... I've been up and down and I've seen the distance. After a while I walk to the abyss straight and fell dead…"

"To fall dead or die... Yes! I think he died later." I said. There were symbols swirling around in my head. There was a motion in me that I didn't understand. I felt like I was being drawn by an unknown force that isolated me from myself.  But I tried to keep going.

"Sure!" Said Roder excitedly. "He was already scared and probably realized he has done wrong. He wanted some kind of accountability. Because he was in pain, like regret. Of course, this pain can be spiritual or physical, and that can change the meaning of the pain. If it's out of remorse, he may have wanted to die."

“Roder! You're a genius." Simon said.

Jason didn't say anything. For some reason, it was as if he thought that these things wouldn't happen.

"Well, what happens now?" asked Nina. That was the question everyone's been waiting for.

"I don't know." I said. “All these people have passed from a place to another place. So, in the modern age, we call it teleportation. But from the looks of these, we can see that teleportation already exists naturally." I said with ideas that came to mind at the time.

"Teleportation ha! That would be nice," Jason said as if he was trying to put out the stupid side of the way we were thinking about.

"Now I'd teleport to America." Simon continued.

"Don't be ridiculous, Sime! It's illogical to talk about things like that because someone has carved something in this cave." he insisted.

"Come on, guys! We don't know what happened yet." Esme said, seeking an end to the controversy.

"What do you suggest we do, Marcus?" asked Roder.

"From what Ed said, there must be something in this cave. It's already about something that people from different times, different places have written. Maybe there's more coming. And…" He said with a pause. He turned his head and looked up. He lit up the ceiling with his own flashlight. At that moment, I crossed my own line of surprise. I was fascinated by the shapes I saw. The shapes were drawn with some kind of technological device and were perfectly shaped.

(image)

(image)

                                         [image of a high-tech drawing]

"What do all these mean?" asked Kate. She was completely surprised, too. We were all looking at the shapes. But no one knew who was thinking what. These final shapes had caught us completely defenseless. Because all the shapes we looked at were telling us about the past and explaining something that had happened in this world, but these symbols drawn on the ceiling were completely different.

"The shapes are so weird." Nina said, keeping an eye on it.

"Yes," I said. “It looks more like it tells about another world.” I kept my head up looking at the shapes. They were completely amazing and were drawn with a highly advanced laser.

Nina quietly approached me and said, "I asked you something yesterday." She said.

"You asked me a lot of things yesterday!" I was still looking at the shapes as I answered her.

"Yes, but that question… The question of what scientists were doing in these mountains."

Nina was right. What else could be of interest to them in these mountains?

"She is right. Why did they send us here?" I asked. Kate unconsciously said three words.

"To find them."

"Did they tell us why?"

"No, they don't say it many times anyway."

"Yes, but this is the first time we've come to a place so far away where no human being has come. So theoretically... I mean, no kidnapping, no threats, no rumors, no terror, just some scientist?"

"You mean?" asked Roder.

"I think something's going on here, and the government doesn't want anyone to know. They sent us because they thought we were going to find those scientists and they didn't take into account that we were going to see something like this." She explained.

"So, is there really something going on here?" asked Kate.

"Of course! Look at all these."

"I think it is my turn to ask this time". Simon said. "What happens now?" Jason left without further argument and walked to the dark side of the cave. A little later, while discussing unimaginable theories, Simon was the first to notice Jason's absence.

All of a sudden, all the arguments were over. All the talk had stopped and everyone starting shouting and calling out as if they were focused on one outcome. Simon was freaked out. These incomprehensible feelings somehow shook our thoughts, and before anyone knew what was happening, they just started screaming and shouting. Marcus tried to calm us down but somehow there was that panic rising in us. Maybe it was the cave itself that caused this. But at the time, we had no idea and we were just being pulled by the dark gravity of the situation.

I knew something. There was something in this cave, and it had surprised us in its own inner darkness as if it had trapped us. Our focus was on getting us deeper into it. And our minds couldn't explain exactly what happened to us. We found ourselves drawn into his deep darkness. I knew we had to get out, but whatever got me had already stopped it.

Simon quickly moved forward into the darkness of the cave with hesitations in him and fear for Jason.

All of a sudden, it all felt like a mind game. Simon's yelling, his crazy face was just a dream now. Because he was gone. Only in a dream you could have so much experience in such a short time. As fear and hesitation wandered through our veins, Marcus's face stared the emptiness of the cave because he didn't even understand what was going on.

A few seconds ago, Simon was freaked out and calling for Jason and now we were yelling around looking for him too. He was gone just like Jason.

No light we held beyond the cave could illuminate it. Just ahead, the light was disappearing. I felt like I had the smell of a rose in my nose. But I wasn't sure where that smell was coming from. It was just a smell, but it was effective enough to lead me or everyone else into a chaos. It was playing with our minds.

Marcus and Roder walked slowly into the darkness to find out what had happened. Just in case, Roder grabbed Marcus’s belt and gave the other end of the rope to Kate that he tied himself with to make sure Marcus wouldn’t disappear like Jason and Simon. Esme also got a part of the rope at the same time. I didn't understand why they were doing this. I wasn't even sure when they did this. All I knew was that somehow things were happening and pulling us all into that weird darkness.

Nina was slowly approached me with a look of surprise on her face. No one was talking. It was like we were trying to escape without waking up a giant monster sleeping on our backs. But this escape was towards the hidden and all-swallowing darkness of the cave.

A deep sound that came out of nowhere made my ears ring. The sound grew thicker and replaced by an unknown existence. And came a deep silence. It was as if the earth had been swallowed up, time had been lost, and what was known had vanished.

A dark blue light and vibrations falling silent trapped everything in that moment, including us. There was no motion, no sounds, or anything we knew.

The light faded and left to a darker space. With the last light, I looked at Nina's face as we were pulled into something. I didn’t even know when we all were in that motionless motion. But one thing I was sure about at that moment. Nina’s face was white as clouds and it was the first time, I saw her so frightened. It scared the hell out of me as well.

Something was pulling us into that darkness. That was for sure. Our presence had taken away from us. In fact, it looked like this effect was ongoing for so long. This thing was like an unspeakable time network. It was an irresistible force and we were just those tiny meteors that were pulled into its gravity and there was no way out of it.

The incomprehensible light emitted in an air of mystery and fear intensified with it. Everything changed phase as if it passed into a second phase of our existence.

Darkness disappeared in its own undefined light, and everything became meaningless from that moment on.

The writings, the symbols, and everything else took different shapes and made me a helpless soul drowning in water. I felt like I was wandering through a vacuum of space, above all else and it felt like I was away from my body that I couldn’t have any control over. I wanted to get my hands back together, but they were split into opposite poles. Every part of my body seemed to be separated, atomized.

Nina's arms and feet were pulling her whole body into that desolate, dark blue. She was disappearing like she was drowning into the water.

My gun and flashlight got away crumbly from me like a camera image that had been slowed down hundreds, maybe thousands of times. All my stuff was scattered around and piece by piece, turned into dust particles.   

Even the metals in my shoes were falling apart like crystals and disappearing into an unknown and dark absence. It felt like the temperature was getting higher but how could I sense this while everything else was falling apart?

Soon my heavily swirling head and darkened eyes dragged me into a void. A blind, dark, quiet, numb absence… There was no breath, no heartbeat, nor any thought… Or any smell, color, or any light… A narrow and desolate darkness what all there was. It was like falling down into a well. My vacuumed breaths left me as if I didn’t need them at all. I became invisible with every motionless moment. My thoughts spread all over that void as if I was in every part of it. Until I heard something.

Something was calling out to me. From beyond, outside of times and space, it was unfamiliar with everything I knew, but closer to me than anything I had. And then it became more familiar and absolutely peaceful. The way I perceived it wasn't something I did with my body, which I didn’t know I still had. It came from a place that was outside of everything but also in everything. The voice was inside me, and I was in it. There, we were whole in that darkness, and there was no darkness at all even though there was no light anymore. But it wasn't dark the way I knew darkness. Somehow there was no sound. It was just a perception that I knew existed, but it was precise, and I felt every word beyond my senses. I knew. It wasn't something that came with time. It was that moment, and it engulfed me in an untimely world. Suddenly, it was like it has been wrapped up in a million years. It was so different from everything I knew. And it was beautiful. And I listened to it. I listened with ears that I didn’t have. I felt it with a heart that I didn’t have. I swallowed it with every word into my being but I didn’t really exist at the same time. I was somewhere but that place or space or dimension or whatever it was, was something beyond my comprehension. Though, even it was all gone as my physical existence, I still could hear it clearly. I could understand. And I kept listening to it as it kept talking.

You're whole. You're one with yourself, away from your own physical existence. You're whole with everything that's integrated. You're as fresh as a beautiful music flowing through the yeast of your essence, in a world far from the time itself. You are the meaning in a place where you don't use words.

And you're one of us. Our words are your strength, our love is your bliss, our heart is your home. Our bodies are your passion, our feelings are your peace. Your longing is a spring that has accumulated beyond time. You are now with us.

That day is coming. That day is coming. In all its glory, a longing is ending. The day comes with a ball of love that is wrapped with care. And we all salute you as the completes of the whole. Our love and respect are endless. Our time is yours. We're all there with you. And we'll be with you soon again. You're us. We’re you. And when that day comes, we'll be one as a whole. And we'll never be separated again.

So be it.