Fun Online

3

Shaved Bear (level: 2)

Experience: 0/500

Money: 0

HP (Health Points): 200/200

MP (mana points): --

SHU (mustache scale): 100%

Class: not received.

Titles: no.

Current Adventures:

Training (passed stage 1/3) . Outfit trip. The secret desire of mortals.

Inventory: heavy branch, long branch, Stalin's Hatchet.

Clothes: no.

Oh, something new in the tasks.

As soon as I thought about it, the message immediately popped up.

Attention!

A new quest has been unlocked: The Secret Desire of Mortals.

So, and what is there in more detail?

The secret desire of mortals.

Trainer Mart is the creature that sends the damned immortals to the temple. This does not please the local god and his priestess.

You managed to demonstrate a desire to confront this villain.

Come to the backyard (cemetery), talk to the priestess, who is tired of reviving you.

I went in the right direction.

On local graves there were bear totems made of wood.

But for a long time I could not find people.

To be honest, I thought that the nun I saw was this priestess.

Having wandered along the alleys, I walked several times around a small sleeping bear on a bench.

“Well, where is the priestess?” I asked myself out loud.

“Yes, I am here,” the bear answered and got up. If not for this crappy censorship, then I would have seen more, and so there was a girl in a bear costume. But the suit was unbuttoned in the middle, and there was clearly no underwear. But instead of a woman's breasts, there was a blur.

- You can see everything.

- What all?

- Clasp on your robe.

Seeing a yawning beauty turn crimson was funny. What a good NPC simulator!

The girl quickly grabbed the two halves of the suit and pulled them towards each other, only the clothes were clearly not designed for her chest.

Having fought a little with the outfit, the priestess completely disappeared in the costume, even her face went into the head of a teddy bear.

Only then did she look up at me, examine me thoughtfully, and say:

- Ah, it's you, don't bother me to rest from your rebirths, get out of here already. If you suddenly decide to rape, then I don’t even have the strength to resist. You'll have to call the guards, they'll come and kill you, I'll revive you again... get out of here.

I'm tired of dying too.

- What? I thought you were a psycho who likes it, - the she-bear was obviously surprised. - And what do you want from me?

“Help me not get killed again.” I tried to resist the coach, but I only managed to get it - I took out my trophy.

- Mart's hatchet? – the priestess even took off the bear's head and grabbed the weapon. Then she looked around and dragged me to the temple, but we did not go to the entrance, but went to a room unknown to me.

– Where are we?

Do you want to defeat him?

– Coach? No. I want to get trained and stop dying.

“In exchange for this weapon, I will offer you a choice: the strength with which you can defeat it, or the way you train. And what would you like?

I thought.

I have been looking for a way to train for a long time. Curious, what is it?

But revenge is much more tempting. It's just a game, here you can cut off the brakes. Let it be said that NPCs are unique, but cut cranberries? Didn't want to kill him.

“I want power,” I replied. A clearly hidden branch of tasks will be more interesting than the original scenario with "training".

“Then keep following me,” the woman replied, and accelerated.

Only about two minutes later, when we were going down some stairs in the light of torches, the girl sat down and said:

- All right, I'm exhausted. Then carry me on you, just follow from torch to torch.

Attention!

The quest * A Mortal's Secret Desire* has reached the second stage.

Mission issued: Ride Priestess Nedemon Bear on your back.

Steps taken (0/1000)

Shaved Bear (level: 2)

Experience: 0/500

Money: 0

HP (Health Points): 200/200

MP (mana points): --

SHU (mustache scale): 91%

Class: not received.

Titles: no.

Current Adventures:

Training (passed stage 1/3) . Outfit trip. Secret desire of mortals (completed stage 1/1024).

Inventory: heavy branch, long branch, Mart's Hatchet.

Clothes: no.

I read the updated profile, and something confused me.

9% stamina in such a short time? Tin.

I’ll just keep silent about the number of stages in the third task, I can’t comment on it without a mat.

If at first the idea seemed to me not a fountain, then in practice the priestess turned out to be almost weightless in sensations. Documentation on some legal issues, which had to be done under the guise of a pizza delivery man due to the boss's psychosis, was harder.

And the girl had pluses: aroma, beauty and pleasant touch.

But there was a major disadvantage: she is an NPC!

And in reality, I turn into a silent idiot in a conversation with girls. Although they are decently in the university. I can say the maximum about my studies when communicating with a group.

But in the game, I was aware of the simplicity of being and anonymity. These are not people around, but a set of characters in the code created by the developer.

Therefore, the girl on my back was delightful, but did not arouse in me the desire to do something with her.

A thousand steps flew by quickly.

- That's it, I rested, we can rest together. I see that a little more and I will have to return to the temple to resurrect you,” said the priestess of Nedemon Bear.

Attention! Mission completed.

Attention!

The quest * A Mortal's Secret Desire* has reached the second stage.

Mission issued: Ride Priestess Nedemon Bear on your back.

Steps taken (0/1000).

Execution start in: 00:59:59

Shaved Bear (level: 2)

Experience: 0/500

Money: 0

HP (Health Points): 200/200

MP (mana points): --

SHU (mustache scale): 3%

Class: not received.

Titles: no.

Current Adventures:

Training (passed stage 1/3) . Outfit trip. Secret desire of mortals (stage 2/1024 completed).

Inventory: heavy branch, long branch, Stalin's Hatchet.

Clothes: no.

I didn't say a word, but carefully lowered the burden and sat down, leaning against the cold wall.

I didn't want to speak. The low level of "mustache" caused the image to become out of focus, except for the interface, the rest of the world was blurry for me. There was also the effect of the knocking of the pulse and the heaviness of the whole body.

***

Attention, dear players!

After some discussion, the synchronization of time within the game relative to the real one will be set to the ratio: an hour in reality is equal to six hours in the game.

Thank you.

Fun-Online.

For three days now, in real time, I have been doing very monotonous quests: carry a priestess, catch a rat for yourself and a priestess, eat a worm to satisfy your hunger, choose a non-poisoned plant, swim across a ditch with an unknown underwater bear, and so on.

Two things surprised me the most: NPCs go to the toilet, and the avatar can also be impatient.

After the first such urge, I urgently logged out, and was very surprised that in reality everything was fine.

But just in case, I decided to read about it on the forum, and in the Anapa documentation.

- So, this is here ... do pro-players really do this? I muttered to myself as I adjusted the settings to automatically alert me when my body urged.

Although there was a special mechanism in the booth for "emptying the bladder," I was not ripe for this.

I returned to the world of Fun and asked the priestess:

- Where is the toilet?

“In the next cave, she's a hundred torches across,” she replied, and quickly added. - Use after me.

To my monstrous surprise, in the fantasy world there was something almost identical to the toilet. The developers probably used all their minds to do this.

A lockable cabin with the usual white statue, not a hole into the unknown.

Because of the censorship, it was a little strange to do the job.

But it was much weirder to see the message:

Achievement: The first piss in history.

You are the first in the game who was able to bring your avatar to the fulfillment of the urge.

You get: free access for three months as a gift.

Want to get your name in the hall of fame?

- You might think? I replied.

Yes, the request will be repeated in a month or with a new achievement.

Thanks for playing.

Sincerely, Administration.

It looks like a real person was following me.

Then a system notification appeared:

Attention!

The first person in the game *Anonymous* (Title: the first ssykun), discovered a hidden need for bodies in avatars.

The need arises from a long and repeated process of reducing stamina, eating food and liquids, without taking fatal damage.

So that the need does not arise in battle, the store has an appropriate amulet for 10 copper coins for an hour, for 1 silver for a day and for 1 gold for a year.

It seems to be a universal message.

Well, three months a month of a free subscriber? Gorgeous.

I looked at the current status.

Shaved Bear (level: 2)

Experience: 0/500

Money: 0

HP (Health Points): 200/200

MP (mana points): --

SHU (mustache scale): 37%

Class: not received.

Titles:

the first ssykun (luck +10).

Current Adventures:

Training (passed stage 1/3) . Outfit trip. Secret desire of mortals (step 167/1024 completed).

Inventory: heavy branch, long branch, Mart's Hatchet.

Clothes: no.

For tasks that have already been completed a lot, I did not receive experience.

If it weren’t for the feeling that I acquired something special, against the backdrop of videos from more and more blogger players, I would have quit a long time ago.

More than a hundred thousand players have already joined the game after two weeks in reality after the release.

And many have reached the current ceiling with level 20.

And a few people were even able to leave the starting villages for their regions.

It just turned out that level 20 is considered just a matriculation certificate. No class, no profession, no one received.

Everyone returned to the villages. Monsters in regions are at least level 40, and often much higher.

Someone got upset, someone goes through tasks in the villages from beginning to end, someone swings on weak monsters.

At the same time, everyone who has reached level 20 gets access to the gourmet dish of the day, turning off censorship for 1 day (upon reaching the age). The administration also announced that the ceiling would soon be raised, perhaps in the fall (September 1) it would be canceled altogether, but for now, festivals, movie screenings, fighting tournaments for prizes and much, much more will be held in the villages.

Only now, with my level and task in the underground labyrinth, I can just watch videos and read rave reviews about dishes.

Worms, bugs, rats, strange plants... it all has a flavor that can't be turned off.

Every time in this game I get a strange experience, under the motive of "done crap before, for good reason?".

And it all started with that stupid bearded man, fucking bugged NPC!

On August 31, the parents and younger sister returned.

The day before, I killed to turn the apartment back into a dwelling from dust-covered ruins. I especially had to scrub the kitchen, the cat, while I was in the booth, had fun playing with food, poking it in all corners.

- Misha, what did you do? Your page didn't update at all, I thought you were dead. There were already plans for your room,” said Nika, a newly minted seventh grader or eighth grader, I don’t remember exactly.

“I bought a booth, I’m playing,” I answered my sister, who stretched fifteen centimeters over the summer.

- "Anapa"? Well, you're a loshara, it's better not to play than in this squalor.

I looked back at my parents.

- Whom did you bring? And where is the bright little angel that went to the camp and appreciated his parents and brother?

They looked at each other.

- Mish, here's the thing.

- You and Veronica will live alone, I need to go to another city for at least a year, - said the father.

- And mom? I clarified.

- I'm going with my dad. He can’t live without me,” I heard her reply.

“Understood,” I replied. Plans arose immediately. My sister will look after the lazy ball of wool, and I will calmly play.

– Have you forgotten that you are going to university? the father asked.

“I didn’t forget,” I replied.

“Well done, we’re leaving tomorrow, look after Nika,” my mother answered.

- What? I'll look after him! - answered the sister, after which they talked about something else, and I quietly dumped.

Shaved Bear (level: 2)

Experience: 0/500

Money: 0

HP (Health Points): 200/200

MP (mana points): --

SHU (mustache scale): 17%

Class: not received.

Titles:

the first ssykun (luck +10).

Current Adventures:

Training (passed stage 1/3) . Outfit trip. Secret desire of mortals (completed stage 1018/1024).

Inventory: heavy branch, long branch, Mart's Hatchet.

Clothes: no.