How My Life Was Ruined

008: Darkness attracts Darkness

"Kageyama, have you decided on a club to join?" Right after homeroom ended, Maki asked me.

"No." I have not participated in any club before. Yes, I was the go-home club member. I didn't really like the idea of staying behind after school. Even the sheer idea of it was painful for me.

"I see. Then, I will give you a tour of the different clubs here. You can check them and decide which club to join."

"Is this compulsory?"

"Yes." She replied. "Every student here has to be affiliated to at least one club. It's a school rule."

"Is there no way around?" I asked, a little hopeful.

"No." But she crushed my hopes in an instant.

"Got it," I responded, meekly.

As she had told me, I waited for Maki to come after school while thinking if there was any way I could avoid all this club and stuff.

"Sorry to keep you waiting." She said as she stood next to me which put a stop to my thoughts.

"Can't I still do something?"

"No can do." My desperate efforts to make an appeal to her failed again. It seemed like there was no way I could escape from this.

She started walking and I reluctantly followed her a step behind.

"Why are you so opposed to being in a club anyway?" She asked while still facing ahead.

"I am not good at dealing with a lot of people." I tried to sound honest.

"I am surprised." She turned to look at me. Her place slowed down a little. Thinking that it was a sign telling me to match her pace I sped up a tiny bit. We were now walking side by side.

"Why? Aren't there people like me who tend to avoid people?" There are many examples that I can come up with, that I have read in light novels and mangas. Like Hikigaya Hachiman forexample. Wait. There isn't a service club or something here, right? That doubt assaulted me. I was almost about to ask her about it. But she spoke before me.

"I know. But from what 'she' told me you were a very energetic person and were liked by many. So I can't imagine how you will have a problem fitting in." She casually dropped a bomb on me.

I stopped dead in my tracks. By she, she definitely means her, right? I couldn't think of anyone else.

I see. So she told her about me.

Noticing that I had suddenly stopped, she looked at me with a quizzical look. "What's wrong?"

She couldn't know how unstable I was. She had no way to know how shaken up I was. She probably didn't realize what that person, what she meant to me.

"Are you alright? Are you sick perhaps?" She came closer and hunched back a little to peer at my face. Immediately, she jumped back.

I don't know what kind of face I had but I knew it was anything but an unwelcome sight. Maybe I looked deathly pale. I could feel my body grow cold.

"K-Kageyama? Hey, Kageyama!" She called my name.

Please, shut up for a moment. Let me calm myself. Let me stable myself. Don't shake my shoulders.

"Aah!" She yelped as I forcibly grabbed her hand. Her face contorted in pain.

Calm down. Calm down. You can't be this shaken just by someone mentioning her.

I tried to convince myself. After all, if I was this shaken up now then how would I ever face her again?

I took in some deep breaths and let go of her hand. She stepped back and looked at me fearfully with her back against the wall. I looked at her and spoke, "That was just me trying to blend in with other people so that I wouldn't cause them any needless worries."

"H-Huh?" She looked confused. She couldn't process the change in my mood. I probably looked like a ghost moments ago and now I was talking to her in a cheerful voice. Anyone would be surprised by this sudden change.

"I actually was forcing myself to act cheerful and friendly but since I have now realized how difficult it is I have already given up on that," I added.

"O-Okay." She still didn't look convinced but was now better. Before long, we were again walking side by side but this time quite some time passed in silence.

"You trust her a lot, right?" Maki asked, timidly.

"Of course I do." The answer came out of my mouth immediately which seemed to shock her as she followed after a slight pause, "I-I see." It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that she is the only one that has kept me tied down. I couldn't shake off her shackles. Or rather, it might be that I didn't want to. Which was it? I didn't know.

The silence prevailed once again. This time I was the one to break it. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Why hasn't the school taken any action against Ito Yua?" She narrowed her eyes on me, suspiciously.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" She didn't seem to want to discuss this matter.

"Don't try to evade the question. Everyone knows about it." I took a step closer towards her. "Or do you want me to say it aloud for you?" I said in an impish tone. She backed away immediately and hid her face so I couldn't see what her expression was right now.

"Yes. I know." She admitted. "What about that?"

"I was just curious why the school has kept silent about this matter. It is not something the school should overlook."

"I know." Of course she would. I already knew that. But that wasn't what I wanted to know. "It's simple." She said. "We haven't received any complaint about that matter."

At that answer, I couldn't help but break into a smile.

"This isn't a police station you know. It's a school." She had a sour look on her face as I pointed it out and didn't speak further. Not because she didn't want to but because she couldn't.

Imagine that you lost one of your belongings. Say, your laptop, for example. Until and unless you filed a complaint in the police station, the police won't get involved and won't help with the investigation. Ito Yua's case was similar to this example. Meaning that until and unless a student files a complaint the school administration won't involve itself. But that matter and school are two different things. So I am not sure the same sort of rule can be applied here. Was this the school's way to let the students experience a bit of what goes down once they become adults? I had no way of knowing. So I put a stop to those thoughts.

There are exceptions when the police will get involved even without a complaint being filed. For example, a murder case. Going by that rule, if something big happens in the school that can't be ignored then they will definitely take action.

Let's take Ito Yua's case. Everyone knows what she does but it has not blown into a huge scandal. One of the reasons is the boys themselves. There is no way they will blow this up. After all, if they messed up, then they will not be able to do the deeds with a beauty like Ito Yua. They will likely keep quiet about this. Girls definitely disliked her. No question about that. But most girls tend not to discuss these sorts of things much and they don't like the idea of speaking about those sorts of things from their own mouth. I don't know the reason for that though.

To put it simply, Ito Yua has the upper hand. Until someone big shakes her position then this will continue to happen.

"Something big, huh?" I ended up saying that aloud again.

"What?" She asked.

"Do you know something about why she behaves that way?" I was curious about that. There must have been something that triggered her to behave this way. It can be someone as well. I had been curious about that ever since I knew about her. Maybe it was because I could see and feel the darkness lurking beneath her. People do say that darkness attracts darkness. I didn't know any other reason why I was interested in her affairs so I used that vague and scientifically unproven statement to justify my emotions and actions.

She hesitated before answering, "I can't say that." I expected as much. If someone were to ask her about my or any other person's past then she would likely say the same. "However," she added,  "she spent a year in the same place you stayed before you enrolled in here."

"Oh, I get it." I couldn't help but chuckle. "That old hag sure likes to poke her nose everywhere, doesn't she?"

"Hey! Don't address the Director in such a rude way!" She immediately understood who I meant by 'old hag'. We continued towards our destination as Maki reprimanded me.

The way she was scolding me. It felt...nostalgic. It reminded me of...her.