How My Life Was Ruined

009: I am not ready yet

The school building was big as expected of a school with state-of-the-art facilities.

Maki and I left the classroom building and through a passageway connecting the four buildings, we walked a bit and stopped in front of the building just opposite the classroom building.

All the buildings were connected by the passageway and were similar in design, color, and everything.

Maki and I walked side by side as she gave me the introduction of the different clubs and about what they do. We went room by room slowly.

What she explained went in through one ear and went outside through the other immediately without it being registered in my brain.

We visited clubs like the science club, literature club, art club, sewing, and handicrafts club, calligraphy and god knows what others.

After a very long and exhausting one-hour trip, we had finally made it to the top floor of the building.

The top floor of this building was similar to the building with our classroom. There was a big room at the end of the hall with a big door.

"What's that room for?"

"It's the Student Council," Maki answered.

It wasn't surprising that the room for the student council administration which was responsible for the whole school body was big. But it wasn't just big. The council room and the Director's room were of the same size, and I guessed that the furnishing inside was no different. That meant the furniture was expensive.

"So, have you decided which club to join?" Maki questioned me, having finished touring me to all the clubs that existed in this school.

"No." I quickly responded.

"There is no need to rush. You have about a week's time to think of a club to join." She said that I had a lot of time on hand and didn't need to rush. I wasn't actually in a rush. I didn't want to join any club, to begin with. Isn't there any way I can avoid this?

I looked at Maki pleadingly for the umpteenth time and she shook her head in denial for the umpteenth time too.

"Being part of a club, forming friendships and relationships with other people is what defines you as a human being." She emphasized the importance of joining a club.

"I can imply that meaning in a negative way too, right?" I asked. After all, that's what had actually happened to me.

"What?" She said, confused.

"Nothing. I just want to avoid club and stuff." I sighed deeply. Maki also sighed in exasperation. The two of us were standing in the hallway. Maki was silently observing me and I was racking my brain for a solution.

Just then, I heard a creaking sound and looked towards the door which was now slightly opened from the inside. There was a female figure who was about to come out. Upon seeing me, she immediately closed the door. That's when an idea occurred to me and I asked a question to Maki, "Does Student council also count as a club?"

"No." She answered and explained further sensing what my aim was. "But if you are a member of the student council then you will be exempt from the club activities."

"Lucky." That's what I was wanting to hear.

Finally finding my hope, I started walking towards the council room when I felt a tug on my sleeves.

"Wait," Maki said.

"What's the matter?"

"Are you seriously planning to join the student council?" She asked, with a tense look.

"Yes." I mean, I have no other way of escaping club activities other than this. I will definitely not let this chance go to waste.

"It is very difficult to get into the current student council, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

She looked around, warily and continued, "Shizuku Aina, the current student council president, the best of the best, is a very strict one and she takes a harsh test of anyone who applies. She doesn't let just anyone join the council. There are very few members in the current student council. Since she couldn't find anyone suitable, the position of a general member is still empty. Even Nakamura was rejected."

"Ho-ho?" If even Nakamura was rejected then it must be pretty hard. Because from what I have heard she was a very good student with both above-average academics and above-average athleticism. But even then, "Don't worry. I am confident that I will definitely be selected."

She raised her eyebrows in suspicion, "Are you saying you have that much capability or...?"

"Let's keep it a secret." Without further talk, I knocked on the door twice. I waited for full two minutes and as expected there was no response. I pushed the door open. "Excuse me."

When I entered I saw three students. A girl was sitting on the sofa. She was wearing glasses and had green braided hair on both sides making it a braided twin-tail. A boy who was also wearing glasses was standing beside the table in front of me. He had short black hair and he was the spitting image of what people would call a scholar. And the last one was a girl, who was sitting on a chair too big for her, facing away from me. I couldn't see her face but she was without a doubt scowling.

"Don't you have any manners?" The boy with the glasses said, curtly.

"I knocked twice and there was no response," I replied in a similar curt tone.

"That meant that you were not permitted to enter. Can't you even understand that much?" He was mocking me.

"The student council has a duty and a responsibility to address the issue of every single student in this school. You didn't respond when I knocked. If there were some work, you could have at least told me to wait for a while. But you didn't. That reflects how poor the members are and their sense of duty." I taunted him deliberately.

"Why, you-" He was about to retort when a hand stopped him. The girl who had been seating on the chair had raised her hands causing him to stop. That's some cool stuff.

"What do you need?" She said, without turning around.

"I want to join the student council." I didn't beat around the bush.

"You think it's that easy?" The guy pushed his glasses upwards in a show of his superiority.

"Yes, it is." His expression hardened after I said that bluntly.

"Then why don't we test how capable you are?" He took short and disciplined steps towards me and stood before me.

"Hey, can we talk? Just the two of us?" I looked past the boy towards the brown-haired girl sitting on the chair.

"Hey, who said you can-" He was yet again cut short by her voice.

"Stop it." The chair rotated and she finally faced me. "You two go outside and wait."

"But-"

"It's an order." He was trying to retort but was yet again cut short by her powerful voice. He went out of the room although he was reluctant.  The braided girl went without uttering a single word.

Just as the sound of the door closing resounded, I carelessly plopped myself down on the sofa where the braided girl had been sitting moments ago. She looked at me and with displeasure clear on her face she said, "What the hell do you want?"

"Just what you heard," I said looking around to check the council room.

"Are you serious?"

"Dead serious."

"Do you have what it takes to be a member of this student council?" She asked in a serious tone.

"I am certain of that. Even you, hailed as the best, can't hold a candle to me."

That seemed to hit a nerve as she glared at me.

"You sure seem full of yourself."

"You can confirm right here right now if you want." I tried provoking her and I was not lying. She continued glaring at me and then she started gauging me.

After a long silence she opened her mouth, "But it is still difficult."

"I see." Did she reach the conclusion that I was capable? On what basis? And if not, then what other reason she had to say that?

It would have been a lot easier if she had just said yes. What a pain. Seems like I have got no other chance. "

Are your perhaps scared?" I sat cross-legged as I said it.

"What?"

"Since I am way more capable than you, you are scared that people will start paying more respect towards me than you. You are scared that people will start thinking along the lines of something like Kageyama is more capable than the president. Actually, he should be the president instead of her. How pathetic. Or should I say how childish? No, wait. Maybe that's kinda cute."

She shot up from her seat clearly angry. I grinned internally. Just how easy is it to provoke and goad her? I had accidentally come upon this side of her when I ran into her on Sunday. I was annoyed with the fact that I had to meet with a weirdo like her. Fortunately, it was worth it.

"Fine!" She screamed. "I will accept you as a member. Then we will see who is better." She threw a paper at me. I grabbed it just before it could hit my face. It was a membership form of sorts. I grabbed a pen from the table and filled it. I held the paper in my hands toward her and she snatched it from my hands. Then she, while glaring at me, signed the form. Membership acquired.

"Thank you." I grinned as I said that. She was keeping herself from yelling at me by grounding her teeth so hard that I could hear the sound clearly.

Waving my membership form in my hand, I exited the student council room. When the two who had been waiting outside saw that form and the president's signature on it, their eyes widened in disbelief and the both of them hurried inside. Even the green braided girl, who had shown no reaction before, ran hurriedly inside following the boy.

Maki was in a daze. She was staring at me like I was some sort of alien.

When I got to where she was, she asked me in a low voice, "How?"

"How? I just goaded her into it." I admitted.

"How?" She seemed curious.

"You don't need to know that," I said and started walking towards the stairs. Maki followed behind me.

"So I won't have to join any clubs now, right?" I asked, waving the form in front of her.

"Y-Yes. But work on the student council is more difficult than being in a club."

"I won't have to worry about working. I can take it easy if I want."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I will just goad her into it. Just like how I got this." I again waved the form in front of her.

"The way you say it almost makes you feel like a villain." She said after a pause.

"Is that so." I chuckled at her observation. The two of us descended the stairs and walked back to the classroom building through the same passageway.

We didn't talk much at all during that time. Maki would sometimes look towards me cautiously but she never spoke. I knew that there was something she wanted to say to me but was hesitating. I had a solid guess as to what that was. If she was hesitating this much, it was without a doubt about her or at least something related to it.

"Don't you have something you want to ask?" Just as we reached our classroom, I asked.

She looked at me, opened her mouth, and closed it again. Then she said, "Yes. I have. But I won't ask for the time being."

She turned around and started walking up the stairs. I slid the door open and went inside the class to pick up my bag.

She said for the time being. She would definitely ask me about this in the future. What sort of question would it be? Will I be able to answer it? I couldn't help but wonder.

When I stepped outside, I saw Maki was there. She was looking at me. I was sure that she was gone. So she wants to say it now, aye?

"About your promise with my little sister...when will you tell her?" She asked hesitantly but she didn't look away. She was looking straight in my eye, with determination behind those eyes of her. So that was what she wanted to ask.

"That's...right."

I hadn't forgotten about what I had promised her. I will never forget that promise with her. It was the one thing that had convinced me to keep living. Or maybe it was just that I was using her as an excuse to hide my cowardice.

Maki was waiting for my answer.

"I will tell her everything. Everything. I made that promise myself. I won't go back on my words. But..." I couldn't keep looking at her eyes filled with such pure and strong emotions so my eyes naturally lowered, "...I am not ready yet."

I knew that it was nothing but an excuse. I knew that I was running away. I knew I had to face her head-on at some point in life but I still was running away. I realized how cowardly it was. But it was the only thing I could do at the moment. And I had no way of knowing how it would come to bite me later.

"I see," Maki said nothing more. Even though she knew how empty those words of mine were.

"I won't tell you to rush to tell her. Take it slow. Just make sure that she gets to hear all of it."

"Yeah." My eyes were still on the floor.

Soon, I saw her feet moving away from me and towards the stairs. I continued looking down until the sound of her shoes disappeared completely.

But even after she was gone, I wasn't able to look up.

I slowly descended the stairs and walked towards the dorm.

The sun was about to set. Because of what little light the sun emitted, my shadow was distorted into an ugly shape. Or maybe it was projecting my true self.

Yes, I will tell her. I will tell her everything about what had happened to me. That's the last thing I will do before I die.

I convinced myself with those hollow words.