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2024-10-29 19:42:56It wasn't a nice morning. Alan burst into my bedroom I was naked with April we were both partly covered.
"Fuck me, Al, you ever knock."
"Sorry yes, but we have a big problem."
I was out of bed and in my clothes at a ridiculous speed. I think I got both legs in my jeans at the same time without being sat down. Al was explaining to me as I was getting dressed that Rita had taken the Suzuki in the night and left the gate open.
I looked out of the window. There were zombies outside in the yard Brian and Gaz were out killing them and I was on my way.
Rushing at things isn't a good idea. I can't say I have ever heard anyone say and it went really well because I rushed ahead without thinking.
I wasn't fully kitted out I had hoody jeans and boots on but that was it. I grabbed my bat on my way and burst through the door like a stampeding bull. Unfortunately, I ran close to Gaz and he thought that I was a zombie. He turned quickly and stopped short of
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Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 18th September
Over the last day, we kept looking for Rita. Alan and Brian more than the rest of us. I have to admit that I wasn't too bothered either way about finding Rita. I didn't want her dead but I didn't want her here. Being a lazy selfish pain in the arse wasn't good for morale. It turned out that Alan and Brian had set off early this morning. I could understand why they were putting so much effort in but the rest of us were having to pick up the slack.Red pulled me to one side."Sid I'm afraid I have some bad news. One of the kittens has died. It was infected. I had to euthanize It last night. Can you help me to tell James? I have to admit that I am scared of his reaction. The rest are all healthy. He can have them back today."" Don't worry I'm sure that he will be OK. Especially when you tell him that the others are coming back to him."Just then Earl's phone rang. He answered and looked. Well, I don't know It was pleased then horrified. He said OK and hung
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 19th September
I was, not myself. It was obvious to me that I was responsible for the death of Alan and Brian and the injuries to red and Earl. Everyone was saying that I couldn't have done anything to stop what happened. I felt like that was bull shit. I should have made sure that the search had been mare intensive. I might not have cared for Rita but Alan did. It's not just the people I care about that matter. If April, for instance, had gone. I would have made everyone search. If Janet had gone I might not have sent everyone out the same. Who am I to choose who is worth time and effort. I left the house early this morning. I had to be alone. I had all my gear on and went down to the bottom of the drive I had a hammer chisel and line of string on two metal pins. I walked hoping that would let everyone know that I hadn't gone far and would be back. Earl was in bad shape and Rad looked like he would be OK but out of the work detail for quite some time. I was going to patch up some dry stone wall d
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 25th September
Over the last few days, I have been keeping my distance from Rita. I still couldn't look her in the eye. I was to blame for the fiasco of the shooting range. I would not let myself believe others words. They all except Rita said thet there was nothing I could have done to get a better outcome. But still, I knew if I had tried as hard to find her as I would have done anyone else it would have been completely different. That mistake will never be repeated. I had woken up this morning very early. It wasn't planned but my arse wanted to explode. I farted once and a bit came out. Let's keep that quiet. Everyone in the house was now up and knew what was going on. Gaz kept taking the piss. I was not in the mood for it. My ring was burning worse than what Johnny cash sang about. I was on my way to speak to Red and see if he could do anything. When I had to make a u-turn. I had to run. Rita got in my way. I danced from side to side. Trying to get past but we kept moving in tandem. I grabbed
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 30th September
My guts were feeling a lot better now. Rita was behaving better as well. Things were starting to be good. Wright had popped round to see how we were getting on. He never stayed long but his visits were getting longer. We had started to trade with him for small things not much just the odd bit of food for ladies sanitary things that he didn't need. I had realised that we needed more contraception. It occurred to me that I wasn't the only person having sex there was Gaz and Lucy as well and if more people came they would more than likely need it too. For some strange reason, I put the radio on. I had got it in my head that if the government was still going they might broadcast on the radio. I went through all the stations and only got static. It was disappointing but I decided to try at least once a day to be safe.April was clearing up after breakfast. I walked up behind her and gave her bum a little squeeze."Im going to the barn to get cracking on."I tell her
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 1st October
I didn't speak to anyone about the conversation I had with Wright. Red was now under suspension from me. I kept it to myself and carried on like everything was OK. Eating breakfast James was getting very excited by the kittens. He was laid on the floor filling up most of the free space with them on his chest stroking them. Jessie was getting jealous and whimpering for attention. I grabbed my cup and fags."Come on girl walkies."I said the word walkies in a high pitch and she started jumping around in a tight circle. I went out snatching up my fags off the table. It was a good excuse to get outside on my own. I started to walk towards the wood to see if I could see any tracks. I didn't go too close just in case I was being watched. As I stood leaning over a wall scanning the woods wright's whippet shot past me. I looked up to see him in the distance walking towards me."Morning Sid fancy a closer look.""Yeah."I was feeling a whole load of inner t
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 2nd October
The radio message was driving me mental putting me in a foul mood. April went to put an arm over me and I shrugged her off angrily. She sat up in bed sharply giving me daggers."What's up with you. Ya mardy bastard."I got up and dressed without saying anything and left the bedroom. I didn't intend to slam the door but I did. I was the first one up this morning so I brewed up some coffee in the cafeteria. I wasn't hungry so I just poured a cup and went for a fag. I took Jessie out with me. I was glad that putting on heavy boots and coat. Remembering to always have a weapon on me. A weapon was starting to be like a comfort blanket. Walked around the farm checking the perimeter. Jessie was running all over the place bouncing around. I saw some movement in the house so I decided that I would just get to work in the barn. I was still in no mood for people.When I got to the barn I was distracted and really not in the mood for work. I was pott
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 3rd October
3rd OctoberI can’t remember the last time I was in bed asleep so early. April played a little practical joke on me. When I knocked on the bathroom door and shouted that I was in the bedroom. April decided to go down stairs and not tell me. I waited but fell asleep before realising what had happened. Now I’m awake nice and early in a good mood. April asleep to my side and I laugh to myself at her joke. Who don’t think I am to snap my fingers and she jumps in bed with mis e. I know her better than that. I will do something for her today. I don’t know what but something.After breakfast and we have all talked about the day’s jobs I jump into my pickup and drive. I insisted on going alone. James was going to be with David. I must remember to call him David, not Dave. He gave me the impression that Dave was not his name and would cause a problem if use
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide 4th October
4th OctoberBeing knocked is a shit way to go to sleep. Waking up is fucking horrible. Nothing like in the films. When you come around nothing is in focus. Your arms and legs don’t feel like they have bones. Then to top it off you are confused as to where you are.This awakening was no different to any other time I have been knocked out. I could tell I was inside and somewhere dark. While blinking frantically I heard something. A voice but I wasn’t sure if I knew it. My head was still foggy.“Me. Is that you?”My fat tongue was getting in the way of me speaking. It was like I had a burger in my mouth.“Yeah.”Was the only sound that made any sense. The rest was mumble
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- Sid's Zombie Survival Guide
The night has come
The night has comeWe were making our way into this tiny village of the dammed. I wanted to leave Bob behind but he started spouting a load of shit about you dot tell me what to do and I can keep up with the best of you. Blah blah blah. We were using parked cars for cover and so far so good. We hadn’t seen a zombie or a person yet but we can’t start counting chickens yet.Colin came up behind me and whispered in my ear.“You see that house there. The one with the black door.”I looked over to where he was pointing and had described. From what I could see it looked empty and unremarkable.“Yeah what about it?”“I saw something move.”“Something? Like what?”“Not sure could have been a Z.”“Ok keep your keen eyes peeled. Let the others know when you can.”That pissed on my bonfire. We had only just come into this place of death and decay. Already the dead had ben seen. The shop was close. Maybe only two-fifty. Three hundred meters away. It could still be empty when we get there if we ge
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Night of the 1st
Night of the 1stIf I’m to be honest I didn’t think about the time when we set off to find Sid. In my head, we might find him on our way to here. Unfortunately, we didn’t. Now the light of day is going to soon fade and night is now a dangerous time for the living. Wright and the others were getting out of their vehicles and coming towards me and Bob. I climbed out.“Look we are going to have to camp here in our cars tonight unless you guys have a better idea. You know we can’t go running around in the dark anymore.”Red spoke first in his fucking posh voice that went through me like a hot knife through butter.“Yes, we agree with you on the fact that we can’t go out at night but. We have very little in the way of food and drink.”He was right. When he said we had very little he meant we had fuck all. James might have a chocolate bar in his pocket but that wouldn’t even see him through the night.Earl stepped forward.“We passed a small village back there. I know from back when I was a
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November 1st
1st November“Bob where the fuck is Sid. I don’t give a shit about your rules about swearing now. You had best get talking or I’m letting April loose.”“Gaz? That’s you right?”“Yes now get on with it I need to help my friend.”Bob was a scary motherfucker and I hated him with a passion but right now he was my only way of helping Sid. All the others got out safe and we are now in an empty school. We worked together to clear it of the dead over the last two days after two days of travel. On the way we kept leaving markers hoping Sid would spot them. Lucy wasn’t taking it anywhere near as easy as she should have been but what do I know as she keeps telling me? Bob was talking and looking at me like that was where he fired his knives from.“He ran and I was under the car where he shoved me. I closed my eyes and prayed that I wouldn’t be seen. It felt like a lifetime under there trying not to breathe or make a sound. The zombies just kept suffering along. Could I get a drink of water plea
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27th part 5
27th part 5As predicted we broke through the last few walls and we’re now stood in the last house. This house had not been loved by the previous occupants or the looters. It was a proper shit tip. Rubbish covered the floors. Wall paper was black with mold and peeling. In one room the ceiling had come down. My first impression was that this place had been abandoned for decades. There was a calendar on the wall that was from this year blowing my theory out of the water. Bob took great pleasure in pointing out my failings in deductions.“Yeah Sid it must have been empty since the fifties at least. Look at the LCD. Must be at least one maybe two years, old.”This pleasure went on for several minutes. As Bob spoke his tone changed into a higher pitch than normal just to show me how sarcastic he was being. At one point he started valuing things like an auctioneer. Looking at labels and sell-by dates on food and appraising it like it was an antique. By this point, I was getting ready to wal
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27th part 4
27th part 4It didn’t take long to find a claw hammer. Not the best tool for the job but it will do for now. I crouched next to the deciding wall in the loft and laid my hand flat on it.“You see this wall Bob. It’s out way out.”“Catch me up lad I'm lost.”“These houses were built in the sixties. These blocks are very weak breeze blocks. On top of this bonus the wall is only one skin up here. When I say one skin. I mean that this is all that stands between us and next door. With this hammer I can make a hole big enough to fit through in about fifteen minutes. There is going to be five more until the end of the terrace. By the time we get there I reckon that the zombies will be far enough away for us to make our escape and we will be on the opposite side of the building to the dogs and five doors away. What do you think?”“I think you should shut up and start making a hole.”So I did. As I thought the blocks were weak and once I had made a small hole it was easy. The whole got bigger
- Sid's Zombie Survival Guide
27th part 3
27th part 3Before I could react Bob had one of the beasts flying through the air towards his face. In the blink of an eye, he had skillfully put a knife through its temple. The dog dropped to the floor limp and lifeless. The dark brown almost black blood trickled from its new wound.Now wasn’t the time for me to admire Bob's handy work. He had a dog bounding towards him and I had one flying through the air like a bad superhero. It would have amused me if it was wearing a mask and cape. It wasn’t it was covered in blood mattered hair dirt of all kinds and was like all other things that were dead rotting.With a powerful blow the thing hit me and hard. As I was going down the weight of it shifted to my left. One knife handle sticking out of it’s eye. Bob's hands were empty and there was another dog on his way and more we’re coming from other directions. There was nothing for it. I had to carry Bob and run. I doubt he is going to like this but tough shit if he wants to live.“Bob hand n
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27th part 2
27th part 2The sound was getting louder and louder. The moans and groans. Shuffling sounds of the dead coming. This was the sound and smell of death walking and I didn’t need to experience this again. Not now. My radio crackles to life and the voice of Write comes through.“Sid this is bad. Huge conga line of zombies coming your way and they look like they are tied together.”“Ok get yourselves out of here spread the word. I will get Bob and meet you.”“No that’s suicide. There are hundreds of the things coming your way.”“You haven’t seen Bob in action. I think. No I know we can do this.”I lied. I was no way I was as confident as I was trying to show. There was a definite chance I was going to die. Had I just had enough and this was my way of going without a bye. My hand clicked off my radio.The herd wasn’t in sight yet but this looked like my only chance to leave this house. The place looked deserted. Normal people had vanished almost completely but zombies were coming on mass no
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27th October
27th OctoberPositions were taken. We had walkie talkies to communicate with each other. I was the one nearest to where Mr Stainburn was going to be meeting me. Gaz Earl and Write had taken up sniper positions giving me a bit of protection. Itchy was parked close by in his tank waiting for a signal off anyone to drive in and pick me up if it all went to shit. The girls and kids were in two cars parked about ten miles away hopefully out of harms way. Colin was acting like a messenger to run between us if anything went wrong with our radios. Red was holding back with rounds of ammunition so that if the others got caught they would only lose limited supplies. If Red was caught as well then we were fucked. Now Bob was missing. He told me he would do what was needed and that I didnt tell him. The grumpy old cunt just got in his car last night and fucked off.I was in a house opposite where I was meant to meet the biggest prick on the planet. It wasn’t an easy mission to accomplish. To get
- Sid's Zombie Survival Guide
26th part 2
26th part 2The plan was sort of in my head now and while everyone was here I thought it was a good time to start saying it out loud.“Colin. I have a little job for you. Make some drinks. I’m going to get water-hungry. The word escapes me right now. You know when you need a drink?”“Thirsty?”Colin answered me looking unsure of what I was talking about.“Yeah, that’s the word. Now everyone listen up get a pen and paper if you need. Are you all ready?”They all nodded except the old guy. He put his hand up.“Yes errr…. What’s your name? I haven’t asked yet.”“I'm Bob. Can I go to the toilet before you start?”“Fuck me Bob. Yes go be as quick as you can though.”“I asked you not to swear around me and told you you don’t tell me I tell you. That’s my last warning to you all.”He left after his few words. Gaz got really angry again.“Who the fuck is this old guy to talk to any of us like that. He has no say in what happens. We don’t know him or fuck all. He has only just told you his fuc
