"He can almost promise you that I'm not," Logan laughed. "If anything, I probably haven't even gone to bed yet."Logan walked through the den of the suite and knocked a couple of times on Rafe's door."Yo, Rafester," Logan called through the large white piece of colonial wood. "It's time to head out. Are you awake?""Bro…" Logan heard a groggy groan from the other side. "It's two in the morning. Being up this early should be illegal.""Another thing to add to your platform," Logan noted playfully. "I know for a fact you'd have Kelda's vote. Now come on, we need to get going.""Give me like, two seconds, bro," Rafe groaned.Logan stepped away from the door and headed back to join the elves."Do they have a plan when they get to the Porta ad Inferos?" Beth asked. "Certainly they're not just going to 'wing it,' right?""It all depends on what the situation is when they arrive," Logan explained. "Ideally, they set a few traps or try to create a defensive perimeter around the Gateway.

Logan and his companions journeyed through the dense, foggy forest for a few minutes until they stumbled upon a farmhouse nestled at the foot of a large hill. The house appeared quite spacious with two stories and a wide base, although its age was evident in the peeling red vinyl siding and patches of duct tape reflecting their headlights, evidence of numerous home window repairs. The roof seemed to sag in the center, and even the beamed porch at the front appeared on the verge of collapsing at the slightest touch. A faint light emanated from one of the second-floor windows, but no signs of activity were visible inside. With the time now at four-thirty in the morning, Logan speculated that the light was merely a remnant from the previous night, forgotten to be switched off. Logan turned off the lights and the vehicle's engine, rousing Rafe from his slumber. Together, the group stealthily disembarked from the car. In a hushed tone, Abina questioned their next move, expressing th

“Excellent,” Ira said as she shot Logan a victorious glare and then turned back to her “child.” “Hurry up, Ralphie. We don’t want to impose on our hosts any more than we have to.”“I’m finding it hard to eat, momma.” The boy shook his head, plugged his nose, and then pointed to Rafe. “This guy smells like a dead skunk.”“You’re not a basket of roses yerself, kid.” Rafe chuckled. “I think somebody may have just shit themselves. Multiple times.”“Gee, mister, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” the Franklin boy snarked.“Nope. I use it to kiss yours. She actually gave me a blow ‘n go before I came here. You’d think it’d be hard to do with no teeth...” Rafe leaned in close to the boy and whispered. “... but it actually makes it feel a million times more fun. She called me ‘daddy’ a few times if it makes you feel better.”“Don’t talk about my mom like that, asshole!” the little boy growled.“Now, Ralphie,” Ira tried to put the lid back on her faux child, “you know he’s only tryin

He released the demon's body, and the bloody heap fell to the ground.“Uh, I weakened him for you,” Rafe said with an extended finger.“Oh, of course,” he lied to the goblin. “You did a great job, Rafe.”Rafe jumped up in the air and pumped his fist. “Fuck yeah, the Rafester gets a gold star!” he shouted and then began to rush around the room doing cartwheels like a happy Rafeler.“Alright,” he laughed, “you just beat up a Rafeler goblin. Don’t get too carried away, bro. We still need to--”“Incoming!” Kelda screamed as she tackled him to the ground.He heard the sizzle of acid from above as a flash of turquoise shot past and melted the wall of the farmhouse.“Thank you, sisters,” Ira’s voice called out before falling into a twisted giggle. “You did my work for me.” He turned to see Ira knocking away a barrage of blasts from Rafe, Abinay, and Beth with her morning star as she sauntered toward them. The elves was still in her Dom’s leather corset, but the way she

Logan wasn’t sure how, but apparently, he was wiping the smile off that smug asshole’s face.“Bro, you must be a grower, not a shower,” Rafe’s voice sprang up beside him as he reappeared. “Those things must be at least two feet long!”“Huh?” Logan asked as he crushed another demon with a prison of magical purple flames.“Your horns, bro,” Rafe explained. “They’re almost as big as my schlong.”“Somehow, I don’t believe you.” Logan ducked out of the way of an attack and blasted back at the assailant.“You wanna bet?” the goblin argued. “I could whip it out right here and show you, but that’d nearly double my surface area. Can’t have that in the middle of a fight.”“Sure, Rafe,” Logan humored the goblin.A couple more demons fell under their combined fire, and Logan realized that, slowly but surely, the army was thinning out.The problem? They were nowhere close to victory. At this rate, the four of them were going to die from exhaustion before they could wipe out the rest of their force