The Handsome English Teacher From Manchester

The Past and Present

Fin said no .

"We need the experienced ones "

That's all he responded.

So it was obvious that he rejected her.

she walked away after smiling and thanking him .

That's all.

What then ?

Debt to school. If she could not pay soon she would lost her face ..she used the money of the students books and she had to return it to her workmate who asked her to sell and she got some profit but...

well...she thought about suicide...many times

since long but never dare to do it ...but is it time to make it ....?hellfire... desperation...

No !

Think..

"Hello..."

"Yes"

"Can l speak to the BBC manager ?"

"Ok ..wait "

He sounded a bit doubt as surely you must speak English well if you want to talk to a native as the native possibly can not speak your mother tongue language but he did not ask whether she speak English fluently as it would be impolite to ask that ..sure she knew that she must speak English if she wanted to talk to the BBC manager.

Fin waited ,she hold the phone .The evening radio program was a talk show ,that time they invited the manager of BBC for lndonesia.An lrish named Aiden Moss who got an amazing and so very attractive voice ,deep,warm and manly .

The topic was interesting.He said that radio is not like tv where you can see many many things..and that's it but radio is developing pictures in mind as audience only listen then they automatically imagine things on what they hear .

Imagination.. often..is more beautiful than fact ..

Fin heard the phone receiver over there was picked and the amazing voice ..

"Hello...l am Aiden .. who's speaking?

Fin hesitated as she as she often did on talking to radio station, giving a pseudonym."Hello...l am Fany ..lm interested in what you said about pictures in mind ..in listening to radio"

"Hello Fany..nice to know you like the topic ..so you spend quite much time on radio? "

"Yeah,right ,since little l found that almost all my siblings love radio and also my dad so l get used to it "

" Your English is perfect..not so many lndonesian speak English well l guess"

" That's true..... btw which places you visited here in lndonesia?'

" Mmmh..I have been to Sumatra.. Sulawesi...and next trip will be Surabaya and a few more .."

" How long will you stay in Bandung ?'

"3 days more ... yesterday night the Dj came late for the dinner ..he came at the time almost everyone finished eating"

" He did it on purpose l guess ..l know him as a bit unique person... btw l would like to have a talk with you in person .ls that possible?

" Mm ..let's see.. yeah ..we can ..we.. where? "

Fin remembered the unpleasant experience when she could not meet Tim at last time till she didn't know will they meet again just ..when she waited for 2 hours at Braga cafe for the last meeting before he went back to England..if only Fin agreed that time to meet at her house.. that's what Tim suggest Ed but she said no.and there was a reason..she feared of something ..

The decision that she regretted later on..

So now she said to Aiden,

" What about at my house"

" It's ok ..give me the address then please..wait wait...l get a pen first ..."

" What time will you come ? Is it possible about 4 or 5 at noon?'

"No..l can't as l will visit some more radio stations in this city .. lm free after 8..."

" Well it's fine ... maybe around 9 you can reach my place..from this studio,it's not far but I don't know from your hotel.."

" It's ok..l will use taxi and just give this address to the driver "

"Well ok Aiden..l must finish this call for now ..I don't want to disturb you in the middle of the talk show "

" Well thanks Fany ..nice talking to you..see you then "

"See you Aiden ..bye "

"Bye"

Fin asked her maid to pick up Aiden who was just reach the big restaurant near her complex so he can reach her house easily ,not to look for the address which would be hard as it wasn't familiar to a foreigner.

He was at the door already when Fin sat in the living room and looked up at the tall body .

He smiled and said hello.

" Have a seat please ..are you tired ? Maybe after visiting some studios..then came here ?"

" Noo...l rest a bit then had shower ..it's ok .....mmmh ..such a nice comfortable home..." He commented and looked around all the rooms.

"..it's small house ..I don't need big house anyway ...only me and the maid...mm btw ..what can l get for you ? Would you like some coffee?"

" Oh yeah coffee..that will be nice, yes ..thank you"

When she went to the kitchen and making the coffee,Aiden followed her there .He stood and watched her ...then said ," smell nice ....."

She boiled water altogether with the coffee powder and the result usually made better taste and better aroma ..she put the small pot on the stove.

When the coffee was served they sipped it together

" Wow..this is great.. what coffee is this ? I will get it to take to London.. really great .. great coffee "

" This coffee is no special..I only boiling it with the powder altogether.."

Aiden meant it .when his cup was empty..

"Would you like another cup ? "

,Yeah.... please"

They talked of quite many things ..from the long sleeve batik he wore to BBC matters and some personal ones also .

He looked at some pictures hung on the wall .There ,one picture of Fin , her ex husband AbdulMalik and her mom and dad.

" That's my mom and dad"

" Who was that one sitting just next to you?"

With smile ,Fin asked him to guess.

" Your uncle?'

"No"

"Your grandpa? "

"No.. it's my ex hub "

Aiden looked surprised..,he widen his eyes ..

Well Fin got used to see such reaction..she had 32 years age difference with her ex husband.

" I was 21 and he was 53 when we married...he loved me l guess ..but we had no child ..l was so lonely while he also so busy with his business... sometimes l said l was jealous to his work ..you better marry your work..I told him so .. maybe things would be different if we had child.."

"How long was your marriage"?

"About 2 or 3 years ..or so ..mm..what about yourself? Are you married?"

" Well lm 42 now ..yes ,once l married then divorced"

" Is your relationship still good ? I mean are you still be friend her ? Some people end their divorce badly by hating each other ..some other still contact each other and having good friendship one another..me , at times we have contact and l see him in different way .. maybe more pure and simple. "

" Mm you know ..l feel that l know my ex wife better after we divorced.l told her so and that's what l believe "

It's funny isn't it ...spouse quarrels as the disagreement.. maybe as one expect the other too much"

"One said that marriage life should have privacy in the relationship mean.you need distance for that .even when you read a book or watchingTV you need certain cm distance to make it "

It was about 10 when Aiden said he would leave .

"I will call taxi "

" That's very kind of you "

Fin was contacting a taxi agent and telling him the address when Aiden stood there leaning on the door of her workroom .

She sat behind the desk with the typewriter and books on it...

Aiden looked at her intensely..and the way he looked and smiled made her embarrassed.

He said she was pretty and petite.

He came near her and ...

Slowly, softly he approached and took her hands to get her to stand then he looked into her eyes deeply ..they looked at each other eyes for long moments ..then moved his hand to her shoulders ,planted it for long then hugged her ..

That movement was touching.

Human are lonely.

Human touch is an answer of the fact .

Before they released each other embrace,he whispered,"you are passionate because of your depth"

Then they waited for the taxi to come .

The taxi was so long to reach .The agent called her several times to make sure about the address ...many hours passed till midnight..the taxi agent finally told her that the taxi was already at the complex but couldn't pass the gate .

It was a prohibition...for the complex houses safety the gate closed from 11 up .

It was midnight.

,Oh yeah.. before l forget ..l want to give you this "

Aiden gave her a little agenda book of BBC..

Fin accepted it happily..it was a maroon diary agenda book with leather jacket .

" So nice ..write something on it please .."

Aiden wrote something with fast sweet movement.His handwriting was handsomely written on there ..real impressive handwriting with the unique curves..after finished that ,he handed the book to her .

Fin read what he wrote " To Finara, with memories of a truly beautiful person"

" Thank you...that's lovely..I will care and keep it " she said , holding the book .

"I will take you to the gate ..as you may not know the direction."

Then they went together

,What if I feel scare to come back home alone ? Said Fin .

,I will take there ...then again you take me ..then me take you '

They laughed...when before them come 3 men covered by sarongs..

Finara was scared ..what if they were criminals and rob Aiden as foreigner? Foreigners always be considered as ones with much money ..and..what if they endangered him .. and hurt her ?

She whispered,

"They look scary...what if they are bad man ? "

" Calm down.. don't show your scare ..calm.." he whispered back .

Fin felt her beating heart faster when they were coming closer ..but nothing happened while they were passing .. thank God ..the thrilling time had passed..

After that , Aiden said .

" Never express your nervousness or scare ..you know in America there is a popular slum dwelt by lots of criminals as Bronx..Detroit...at that spot,you must be calm and confident..despite of showing your fear , they will dare to do bad ..but if you are calm .they think you have power.."

"To fight back ?"

"Yes .. right..,`

"Were you scared actually of the men who just passing us ? Those sarongs used by thieves usually...as their faces and bodies covered...they become looked mysterious and dangerous "

"Yeah.. actually l was scared but l must be calm ..that's very important to be calm at such situation"

Fin nodded." I will recall it " she said .

Aiden may travel again in a year or two since he was BbC manager for lndonesia.Maybe they could meet again .

Fin gave her address and told him to let her know if he come again .

"Sure l will let you know so we can arrange a meeting again " he said .

Before going back to England they arrange one more meeting .

The taxi was there .

"Bye " he said and waved back to Fin before getting into the waiting taxi.

Fin was stunned by Aiden look at that second meeting.She become nervous...well.. clothes effect the appearance and impression indeed .

For the second visit Aiden did not need to be picked up by her the maid as he knew the direction to get to her house.Such a fast learner..unlike Fin who was easy to remember faces but not names of person..places and number..phew ! At that point,she was so bad ...she needed at least 10 times visits to a place before she can memorize and precisely knew the right direction to get to that site ...

Fin become nervous...At first meeting Aiden wore long sleeve batik that made him look conservative and old ..but that time he wore jeans and dark blue t- shirt

It made him look so different..he looked young and fresh .

When they sat and talked,he laughed while saying ..

" Where is your perfect English now ....?'

Shyly she told him everything she felt and that made his laughter even stronger .

They didn't stay long to talk at Fin home as they went out as they planned .

"Are you scared ? "Asked Aiden softly.

"No ' answered Fin ",then why ..?" Aiden asked again ..yes ,she knew that she was awkward that moment..then she whispered softly close to his ear ,"maybe because you are a little bit too gentle "

Hearing this , Aiden changed his way of movement..this time he showed more power and manliness which unbelievably made a much better result...they were there together in a sense of unity and oneness in a huge beautiful and powerful universe..

Still , he was a real gentle person ..

It was her rare experience..she seldom have it ..she could not do it unless she really liked the person and she truly liked Aiden with his gentleness and high intelligence.

Yeah..it was so wonderful

But

There always be a feeling and sense of guilty after that ...

2.

Fin sat alone looking out to the small garden through the open door.The CD player on ...she could listen to that music every morning for hours ..while doing some cooking or mowing the grass around her house .. and the radio. She missed Yan who was in German worked as a broadcaster in Deutschewelle radio .

There was problems always after a divorce.. brother in law ..or whoever involved once the life circle.

He missed Tim ...Tim Evander..

If only she could have time tunnels..she positively will go where the beautiful days were gone ..

Time passed.

He still wrote her postcards and letters .

If only that time ...

But anything were written long before the birth,if you believe in pre- destiny of life journey of human being.

She remember those days when Tim came across into her life ..

"Express c.."

He announced, standing at the door classroom ,held it to let anyone at Express c to come in .

Fin was sitting at the hall together with Vid.They both got up shyly to get in ,and saying hello back to the smiling teacher .

After all the students picked seats ,he still waited for anyone who still out not yet in then he closed the door .

He was so tall and attractive..his face reminded Fin to three celebrities : Michael Bolton the singer ,Mel Gibson the movie star and David Copperfield the famous magician.all those three were at the top look and charisma..ah..

He was so stunning..beside that look ,also his hairy chest..that visible since he opened 2 or 3 up buttons of his short sleeve shirt.

He got a paper with names of the students in his hand while starting his opening first session for that day .

"Hello.. welcome to Express c ..My name is Tim Evander.You can call me Tim .l see some old students at previous level so l knew Prakosa ...Dhany ...

Brigitta .. Francisco...but I haven't known Gina ...Finara .. Ricky.. could you introduce yourself... please..

Gina ? Finara ? Ricky..

Well thank you ...

Now ..as this is conversation class we start by making small group and ..yeah ..role play ...here is the situation.Applying for a job. So ...make this class into 2 groups..

One group is managers who who will interview the other group who got role as applicants ..so now prepare the questions...and the answers "

Tim was curious on everything about Fin .What was her education background, single or married,what was her profession and so on..well he would find out by this sort of group talk lesson of role play model.

He separate in two group...Fin with two others as managers and the task was making questions for each applicants.. Fin sat between the Prakosa and Melvin .

Teacher ,like director on a movie making at times.Fin wore black skirt and stripe white and black ,looked fashionable on a formal clothes even she folded the sleeve a bit till two third length.Prakosa in creamy shirt and brown then Melvin in black suit.. the three were fixed for managers..aha..

Fin arrange some questions

-Tell me about yourself

_What are good at..what is your

_strength and weakness... what

other languages can you speak..what would you do if there is someone behaving bad or impolite to you ....

Tim commented," if there is someone trying to kiss you "

Well yes...a receptionist must be always be nice to customers...

"Well ..now .. don't be nervous,Dhany ..to face these strict manager .." said Tim and stress the word "strict " in a good way .

After that ..

" Now ! Turn roles...these three will be the applicants..."said Tim .

Mmmmh ..gotcha !! That's good invisible way to fulfil his curiousity about Fin ..

Between the interview role play,Fin asked things to Tim by straight question."can l tell a lie ?"

Tim responded a bit funnily ,

"You can tell more lies .."

..then now writing task.. Fin wrote a fiction ...a fantasy one ..

Merra birth is a hearsay around the unseen continent , since some part of the sky burnt by a white ghost none knows who .ls it male, female, evil or hero but none either care .

God knows the world of human is now unlike human ..when too many evils in every corners of the states ,cities and villages .Only the players change but the game is all the same .

Gods are many in so many myths .

He makes pattern of knowledge as tool to build evil and power .

They also create compassion and sacrifice as the long roads to humanity as it's purest beauty.

When the dawn creep in the morning rain ,Merra put on her tiny boots on her little feet .

She intended to hide more new power in her little size .

None will care except for her pretty shape of face and petite physical appearance.Her voice was soft, easy and romantic.That was one of her best features.

Merra took one big cloud as her slave to take her goes and flies in one flash of light .

The cloud turn to blue and orange before giving sign of readiness to be flying off .

Then the color gone in a second .

She is sleeping there days and night to gain enough strength for a long journey to Carnesia.

The clothes are made by some trees that ornate some leaves trunk and roots .

Fantazia will wait for her along with more and more new friends who will get along with the old ones .

Look at the big birds and bears at the up high sky which might be vehicles for more names and shapes .

Who wants for more when rain and sunshine come along their way .Those lakes in the summer and snow in blooming season .

Merra open her melancholic sweet eyes and straight her hands then move all her fingers .She pick some peach from those lowering trees at the time they know Merra wants them .She loves the juice white fruit , sweet and only few knows it's good for getting rid of poisons.

Passing a clear wide lake ,Merra reads some letters from her friends .Most of them are foolish questions and sad complains about everything.

Sometimes the lake surface closed by trees passing along the river banks.Merra would wait for some nano seconds to clear over all the letters .

They think she knows everything.

The man and woman on earth .

None knows everything.

All is bunch of fragments.

The truth is hidden everywhere.

None gain it as a whole .

And if so

Who cares

Just collect those blinks of light .

Guidance for life

In the holy book.

Black is a color or not a color, whatever,but one fact is ,black is a real beauty to hide those ugly and bad matters and shapes ,isn't it .?

Give me black and the white will come followed by others ...

But black will always pick white even he always open to anything else .

There was something caught her eyes .A yellow letter with some slanting handwriting.,she read :

God

Can l get bored with this mondial style of human life

Can l amazed by it too

Why kings and queens live ?

What they exist for ?

They enslave everything and everyone

And this world make space more and more for this damn game

From Ardent

To Merra

This boy must be having lrish blood .

Merra will search him at the time she lands on earth .

Ardent just wrote it for her to read and not asking any reply.He even not putting his address on the letter bottom,but it's not a problem as Merra can ask some birds on the roof top of those houses which may stand in a city or county.

That's the writing assignment Fin gave to Tim ..

" Mmm... Fantasy story " he murmured after reading the first lines then the bit last of the page .

That's what a professional can do ...

Unnecessarily to read the whole ..then the work can be evaluated..

Next day the class would be carried out by other tutors .Here was Lana ,a short haired female teacher who performed her teaching in fresh pleasant way ,funny and sometimes a bit harsh ..she said being a teacher is boring job..For Fin it was unwise to say so in a class...but again..it's freedom of speech and maybe any jobs is actually boring sometines...other teacher was Tina ..nice always ,very feminine..she would marry an lndonesian soon...others,were male teacher..Fin didn't like him much...an Australian..harsh and no smile ...But Henny like him...Henny was a Singaporean girl,one of Fin class mate ,she was funny ,honest ,and childish ..she was only 15 ,the youngest student there..she even said openly how handsome Tim was..that's the fact that nothing is really absolute ins't it ? likes and dislikes is normal and relative..

but for Fin ,the most important matter on the whole things related to her knowing and meeting Tim..She was resentful when Barry the perfect professional teacher wouldn't teach her again and meeting Tim was a bless..hey ..there was something better in him even ...yeah , right,the fact that Tim was single man.. while Barry was married ...even Fin herself was married but she wasn't happy ...

That day ,the task was fill in the words in song lyrics..

Daniel by Elton John...

lately Fin understood that why Tim liked the song a lot ..the words " the scars that won't heal.."

it's about his own pain...as a child who had abusive dad..and that's why when Henny asked her about his father ,he answered in a way of someone satisfied,hatred and disgust.and.his eyes moved a bit in saying " he was deaad " ..his mouth curved in a way of deep emotion...none saw it but Fin.."the scar that won't heal...won't heal...

One day a newcomer registered in the class..

the classroom was opened so Fin and Henny could see the newcomer ..

Henny looked at her there and commented in admiration " woooww..... she's beautiful..! very beautiful! "

even Tim bent his body from his chair to see ...

not long after that ,the newcomer came inside with wide smile..she stepped in with high confident,for Fin she looked over confident with such manner , altogether with the way she cloth.

She wore stockings and so modern attire ,open here and there ...yes sure she was a model ..

and she speak English so fluently as she went abroad a lot .

When Tim talked to her , Fin felt that the newcomer was ...what to say ? flirting? she talked about her experience when she was starving after landed in a country.. somewhere in Europe or America.

This kind of personality whom Fin hated..show off, want to be always the center of attention ...it's loathing.. well...Fin wanted to show Tim how bored she was by using Henny ..she tingled her back of her neck by end of pencil..this made Henny laughed and moving here and there on her chair ..it's a way for Fin to hide her emotion..she felt that something burnt inside her ..maybe jealousy..but did she have right to be jealous? She was a married woman ...well that model was married also ..her name was Sophia or something...she didn't give a damn anyway ..

Tim asked the students to talk in pairs , and the topic was about experience in learning to drive car or ride bike .Alas ,Tim asked Fin to talk with Sophia..after the talk in pairs then each one had to tell the whole class what ones found out about the other class mate experience.Sophia asked Fin what Fin experienced ..Fin thought that Sophia was quite nice actually beside her English fluency ..

" I learned to drive a car for longer time .My driving teacher told me that most learners can drive after a week or two ..but me..more than a month..still l could not ...l was scare to measure distance on road...Two times l got bad experience

Once was ... with the driving teacher at the side seat to watch me , l began to drive for some times when l almost crash a bamboo hedge ....so I was shocked ..what if next time l crash a human being ...then secondly l was accompanied by my husband at the side seat .suddenly in front of us there came a bus ..which sounding it's horn loudly as it's an alarm...my hub ,a bit in panic , took the wheel soon .it's safe..so l stopped to continue to learn driving.

Fin did not want to see Sophia again in the class..she could get much more attention from Tim ...so she decided to give up her express c..even she didn't want to lose Tim .

The day after she went to the administration desk to tell the course staff that she would stop learning there .

"Honestly l can't stand having the newcomer at the class..she show off !

The marketing mmanager said ..that surely Fin would not like that type as Fin "a person with such high  calmness 

Well bye class.

Before leaving,Fin came to Tim and told him  about her decision."Tim,l will give up this class..." 

" Why ...is there something..?

"Well...ya there is a reason...

"Well now break time..we can talk .. upstair or at the tea room..up to you 

" ...mm..l prefer upstair"

"Ok..you can go first,wait for me there in a minute" said Tim while he tidy up his paperworks

Fin waited ..until some minutes Tim came and sat beside her ...looked a bit disturbed by the Aussie teacher who asked him something.

" So this is the last time you are here "

"Yeah..well.. actually l would like to know you better.." ..Fin said , shrugging her shoulders while saying ," But l don't know how..."

Tim murmured with a thin smile on his good looking face ,"interesting...I'm not wrong ..that's why l often say interesting. "

Fin saw a happy smile on him..yes ..in the class,he often murmurs " interesting" and he addressed that to Fin .

Later on she knew that he needed  a person who show real interest in him ,not only  comment how handsome he is but then escape when Tim approached..mutual friendship needs mutual enthusiasm.

Cause Fin had a short story for Tim to evaluate,so the papers will be the good reason for them to meet again ..

Tizzy was the cafe Tim chose.Fin came there earlier than him .He looked around for a moment ,look as shy as Fin..both had that shyness .. maybe caused by the childhood and teenage past experience.

That's really their first time to sit face to face alone ..happy but a bit awkward.." there are two news..bad one and good one..which you want first ?" Tim star ted.

" The good one"

" Well .. you are very good on clothes... Like the jacket you wear now..."

Tim stop for a second to see Fin reacted then continued," bad one is your writing ...beside some grammar mistake ... you were trying to be sophisticated..here...it's easy to say beautiful..but instead...." Then so so...

Fin remembered that she was also criticize him once about his being too theorytical a bit in the way he teach ...after praising positive point first of course..well they say if you criticize someone it should be like making an onion sandwich.. bread first ....good side first ..then ..say it ..so it will less hurting ......yes.. honesty is bitter but good for health isn't it..

Tim told her about how he was raised in a broken home athomosphere ..an abusive dad..a drunkard..that made him often wanted to suicide .. feeling so weak and can't move even a pillow.. crying for no reason..

" But you can go on your school ?" Asked Fin

" Yes ..cause l was good academically..well..l told you about myself..now tell me about yourself..why did you marry this old man..

"Well ..maybe lm married him for his money 

" That's a mistake " commented Tim ..looked at her a bit sharply ..

" Yeah ..

" You talked about the past ..you are not happy ...make your life happy ..go abroad to America or.... somewhere in Europe.

Maybe your husband will be dead soon..he doesn't love you ...he just want you because you are young...and beautiful..' he said .

They arranged another meeting..when the time came to leave , Tim made his gesture by bowing like one does to a princess when a taxi was ready for her ...he watched her went in the taxi before he got on to his motorcycle.

."."" rope..