you're so old jokes

Humans were living peacefully on Earth for millions and millions of years until the day unknown monsters who called themselves Sulckers, invaded them from beyond space. They were fast, ruthless, and cruel monsters ready to claim earth realm for themselves. Humans were being slaughtered mercilessly by the seconds and civilization came crumbling in the face of the invaders. However, just when humans were on the verge of going extinct and nonexistent, a heaven-sent phenomenon occurred. A small group of humans with awoken special abilities came to light and shared their abilities to the world. Teleportation, fire manipulation, water manipulation, monstrous strength that could move mountains; humans had finally gained the power to fight back. With the combined effort of the small group of humans, the Sulckers were pushed back to their planet, and humanity once again regained control over their planet. Though the battle ended there, the war was not. This war had created many orphans, and among them, Erix had lost everything, even his parents at a tender age. And the only thing he had received from their death was a pale-looking necklace. He was bullied every day at school because of how weak and abilityless he was. However, once the necklace was finally activated, Erix was granted a system, and his whole life was turned around. He completed quest after quest and became more powerful, until one day the system gave him a weird quest he wasn’t sure he could complete. [New quest received] [Control your uncontrollable thirst for human blood. Abstain from human blood, but during this time your HP would keep decreasing by -1HP/1 hour. Quest will be marked complete once you have lost all your HP]

He saw the end of mankind and suffered a miserable death. But when he opened his eyes, he was back thirty years before his death. Since he had a possible second chance, he decided to become the strongest and survive that miserable end. To become the ultimate wizard. ‘This time I will start with the very beginning.’ He wanted to start before the end of the earth, which was bound to happen in five years. The VR game The Endless. The passage to the planet Yuriel before the end of the earth. If he could become the strongest while he was an immortal player, he would have a chance to escape that tragedy. To people who didn’t know the truth, it was just a game. To people who knew the truth, it was their future. To Jason, who knew the future, it was his ticket to survival. … ‘Let me use thirty years of my experience. Ah… I never played The Endless in my previous life. Great!’ ‘I know all about planet Yuriel. But, in five more years….’ ‘I have no time to join a Guild. I can’t babysit anyone.’ … “Join our guild if you want the money to buy a VR cabin. ” … ‘I have to focus all my time on getting stronger.’ “There is no food in the village.” .. “Hey, where are you going? You brought a child here and trying to leave? She is your child now, so take care of her.” “Eh… I will come back soon.” ‘Damn it. Didn’t I say, ‘I don’t want to be a babysitter’?’ … “That child is cursed.” “Did you say she is cursed? Say that again, I will kill you.” … ‘Right. Why did I start playing this game, again?’

Artis Hardy felt a sharp, searing pain on his cheek as his wife slapped him hard. Sophia, his loving wife, screamed at him in fury. "You beggar! I don't know I had mercy on you and married a scum like you! A man who can't even pay for his daughter's hospital is good for nothing, just like a worm of a gutter." At this moment, their three-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Eva, was lying on the hospital bed, suffering from a rare illness that ravaged her tiny body. They had spent all their savings and gone into debt, investing in her medical care while doctors tried and failed to find a cure for her. Artis walked out of the hospital and smiled bitterly. He had once dreamed of supporting his family and his love, but life had slapped him hard in the face. He lifted his head and took two deep breaths as if he had made up his mind. He took out his phone and scrolled down to a certain contact. After hesitating for a while, he tapped the call button and said, “Lend me some money.” “Sure, no problem. Just sign the papers, and I’ll send you everything you need.”

The earth is suddenly invaded by aliens who call themselves the Daegi causing humanity to fight and prevent their extinction, when peace treaty is signed between the two forces, humanity realizes that there could be another upcoming war and the race to surpass their limits begin. --------- Roshan, our young MC faces bullying and disgrace due to his lack of abilities and strength, but one day, he stumbles upon into a ditch and finds a book which granted him access to an unimaginable power and unparalleled strength, pushing him into a universe of strange possibilities. With each passing day, he undergoes profound transformation evolving him into a being of pure power, a weapon of mass destruction above the limits of humanity. However, as Roshan’s abilities begin to grow, so does the danger that surround him. Roshan realizes soon that the Daegis were merely pawns in much dangerous scheme, now as the strongest human on the planet, Roshan must stop the extinction of his race. As Roshan begins to fully understand and discover the secrets of the system’s creation, he also begins to uncover the hidden truths of his own identity. Would he be able to cling on to his humanity, harness his powers, build up organizations, forge alliances, and still protect those he loves or will the prospect of becoming a god lead him to a dark path of no return? [HOST : ROSHAN TALON] [QUEST RECEIVED] [QUEST: RETRIEVE THE GEM OF A KING TIER] [QUEST REWARD: NEW ABILITY]

What will you do when you find out the woman who killed your parents, the woman you have vowed to have revenge against, is your mother? Devon was switched with his wife at birth by his murdered fake parents and was the rightful owner of the inheritance from his dead father-in-law. But will his mafia mother-in-law, who has hated him since day one, let him have it easy when she has been striving for her other son to get it all? "Hello, my name is Devon Nelson and I changed from fugitive to billionaire when I learned the truth. Unfortunately, my mother wants my life."

"As the last surviving heir of the richest and most powerful family, I ask you to come back and claim your rightful place." "You want me to reclaim the family's fortune, now?" He asked, his pale blue eyes staring brightly at his butler. "Sire, this household has been waiting for you for years now. It is time." ✩★✩ Lucas Williams resumes his family fortune because he wants to protect his family.

Rohan Johnson, an average office employee, faces a string of misfortunes—a wrongful termination, false accusations, and eviction. Drenched and defeated in the rain, he contemplates his bleak future and the disappointment awaiting his single mother. As he mockingly curses his luck, his old friend abandons him. In his despair, Rohan's glitched phone reveals a surprising message: [Loading...System] With a mix of disbelief and desperation, he witnesses the completion of the system's loading. [Welcome to Wealth Tap System] Thinking he might be going crazy, Rohan embarks on a journey filled with monetary rewards and tasks to overcome. Can the Wealth Tap System help him rise from the depths of despair to a life of abundance?

George was your normal average guy on the street, doing the bare minimum, barely keeping his grades at the university afloat while dating the girl he loved. His life was simple but he loved it. Not for long though. It all changed after the sudden death of his parents in a ghastly car accident on the day he was supposed to graduate out of the university. On that day, George lost everything, not just his parents. “George, I heard your parents died in an accident, sorry”. “I wanted to inform you that Harley asked me out at the convocation”. “Of course I accepted, so that’s it, we’re done”. On that same day, he lost his girlfriend, his everything and life suddenly lost meaning to George. He lost the motivation to live. ‘This is my fate’. He thought. At the verge of giving up on living when he thought it was all over, a beautiful red-haired girl with chubby cheeks visited him. “You’re George Churchill right?” “Your grandfather sent this to you”. A system, stuck inside a visafone! The next day, George woke up to his mysterious family inheritance that enables him to do what he loves best, capturing cute pet and majestic beast pictures for a living. The only difference this time was, with each successful mission and capture, the mysterious visafone pays him real money…, real money! George’s life changed! “Perhaps, my fate is not that of misery afterall”.

On his nineteenth birthday, the Hemsworth Family shamelessly revealed to the wealthy families in Arty City that Jeff is not only an illegitimate son but a fake son who isn't related to them by blood. They kicked him out of the family, telling the world that his family requested them to bring him(Jeff) back. The next day, his family who was said to be running a small farm in the village came to pick him up in an expensive car.

James was very poor and had no job but he had manage to save $1500 from the monthly allowance of $200 Alice gives him every month so he could buy the cake to make their day special. Darren snatched the cake from James' hands "This cheap piece of cake? a meal in this restaurant costs at least $10,000 and you think you can impress Alice with this?" Darren smashed the cake into James face. Everyone let out a wide gasp and they burst into laughter. James, with cake clinging to his face, stood there humiliated and defeated. James was the live-in son-in-law that everyone despised, but his real identity was the heir of the Winslow Empire. He vowed that one day all his enemies will kneel and bow down to him!