"Stop laughing! when your laughter run out, you'll cry to death; for you have no more rightful laughter left!" Dada's round face; my grandfather in his mustache and peasant turban like a shining Buddha head statue; haunted my head, with the words echoing in the background.Don't be afraid to continue to languish, because you will find your happiness at any time… but you also can't be happy all the time, later you will be helplessly unhappy because you have run out of your share of happiness, then die. It's Dada, my grandfather; who put those words in my head since childhood. Sometimes I think it is just because he is jealous of me and Nana who often show our happiness by singing together, or exchanging jokes, and laughing together. Dada is just very jealous of my and Nana's happiness.But sometimes Dada used that magic words to punish me. A kind of justification for my suffering when he sentenced me for my stubbornness or my stupidity. I was forced to limit my own happiness; feared su
"What do you think about Armein and Hanun's relationship?" asked the reporter for the gossip program to Binar. "As a friend, I certainly support whatever is best for Armein Khai!" replied Binar with a wide smile. His sunglasses completely covered his eyes. Of course. The looks in his eyes cannot be engineered by any cosmetic. Without glasses, dozens of cameras will record the true emotions in his eyes. Anger and disappointment almost left him speechless. They must not see that.However, Binar is already very skillful at dealing with things like this. He knew reporters would swarm him as soon as he stepped out of the theater, simply because the previous night's photo of me kissing Hanun on the forehead when we had just donated some money to build a multi-story building to house stray children; be the highlight in all media.Binar had a hard time admitting how complicated reality was. The photo was not without months of planning and drafting, including complex business discussions and a
Karambi, is also unable to escape when her chosen is a man who then demands a lot. His name is Bam. Karambi was sent to him when everyone around him left him lying on the side of the road after fighting bad guys who were about to kidnap a girl, and he managed to thwart it. They thought with all the blood and sharp object attacks that hit his body, the man could not be alive again. No one wanted to take his body to the side or even take him to the hospital to try to save his life, because the gang of criminals was watching from afar, waiting for anyone to try to help him. After a day and a night lying down, finally Bam was really left alone on the side of the lonely road. Just before a hungry python was thrown at him, Karambi took him to an abandoned house by the river two mountains from where Bam was found. After 4 days of Karambi taking care of him very painstakingly, Bam finally opened his eyes and stuttered. Karambi explains his duties to Baam, and that Bam can choose to keep Karam
"Maybe next time, you should bring Ray and Sky with you on your assignment!" Karambi made a suggestion that made me think hard. Can I do that? Would my children be happy if I took them away across time and space, moving from place to place, and making them live in new places different from the mountains that raised them? Suddenly I think being in a new place might be an exciting experience for them. It's very likely Ray and Langit will like it. However, is it possible that I can serve my chosen human and prioritize him like a true damshii, while involving two children I carry here and there? Of course, Karambi replied 'Why not? You should try it!' because no damshii has ever done it. There has never been a damshii as stupid as me who let her heart and incapability of holding love torn apart this noble task. "Karambi, how do I negotiate my conditions? And with whom? I don't want any more punishment to befall me, in particular which makes me leave Ray and Langit. May I not be a damshi
Am I sorry for breaking Damshii’s law? Yes. A little. But I'm not sad, because Lamaar was a wonderful man who made me, Ray, and Langit happy. I'm not sad that I became a bad damshii and broke the rules not to fall in love with the chosen one I serve. I was only sad when a small plane crashed into the mountain directly above Lamaar who was hunting wild orchids for me. Lamar died with nothing left of him. I did not find the remains of his body.Even though he could have asked me to accompany him. But of course, he didn't because he wanted to surprise me. He was picking flowers of love for me. He didn't come back with his love tribute; the beautiful orchids of the forest. He left me with his children. Is this my real punishment? My punishment for breaking that rule about not being in love? The punishment for my mistake is losing my chosen man. In my heart, I felt it must have been punishment, because of the great pain in my chest and it forced tears to flood on certain nights.The tears
My name is Kandi, I am a damshii. Most human call a damshii like me as a miracle. I live to serve one specially chosen human as his or her good karma. Langit and Ray are my children. I shouldn't have them; damshii should not second his chosen human. My children are proof of my guilt as damshii; proof that I'm a bad damshii.Langit loves to play with fine hair in my arms. He stroked the golden hair on my arm before going to sleep. When eating together, or letting me feed him berries, he would look me in the eye, open his mouth whenever asked, and chew with a happy glint in his eyes. His hands will caress the fine hairs on my arms. Unlike Ray; her older sister who hangs on to my bedtime song, Langit needs nothing more to sleep well than the fine hairs on my arms. He called it 'Haru'… Ray often mocked his little brother's habit, but I would definitely rebuke her.Anyway, I want Ray to learn to respect differences. That all creatures have their own shortcomings and weaknesses; and there a
My sorrowful moment did not reveal my relationship with Binar. Our managers are the best in their field. The only thing that Simon's great office couldn't do for me was to get rid of the bedtime headache that had plagued me since Nana left.Simon's pile of itineraries diverted my sorrow; though the pain in my chest seemed impossible to cure. Without Nana, I have less reason to work hard. Making my parents and Carra happy, that's one. The next reason was to make Binar proud of me and love me more. But loving Binar was not easy from our "prison." I have to accept the harsh reality of how expensive it is to love Binar the way I want. It's not about money, but the pain I have to endure from these celebrity shackles just to keep enjoying time with Binar."We need a vacation, just the two of us, Meinci..." Binar suggested once in a while, especially when he’s cuddling up in my lap. I laughed at his suggestion, Binar also laughed, cute."How?" I asked. Then we suddenly stopped laughing. Our
After my show in America was done, I immediately went to see Nana at the hospital. Her condition was already critical, it broke my heart. Mama, Papa and my sister Carra were already there. Their eyes seemed to be accusing me of being the cause of Nana's pain. I cannot dodge, yes, I'm the cause. I cleared my schedule to be at Nana's bedside at the hospital. I can't go, no matter what. I'll move on when Nana gets better.Simon showered me with pleas not to completely stop working. He used many excuses; flushed all the ideas in his head, saying all the reasons that sounded plausible in his head, only for me to cancel my decision to take time off from entertainment for Nana's sake.Simon, Mama, Papa, even Carra will never understand how much Nana means to me. Mama and Papa left me in the village to live with Nana and Dada; my grandparents from Mama—since I was 4 years old. The two of them only brought Carra—who was a newborn at the time, to live in the city to pursue Papa's career.So, it
"Stop laughing! when your laughter run out, you'll cry to death; for you have no more rightful laughter left!" Dada's round face; my grandfather in his mustache and peasant turban like a shining Buddha head statue; haunted my head, with the words echoing in the background.Don't be afraid to continue to languish, because you will find your happiness at any time… but you also can't be happy all the time, later you will be helplessly unhappy because you have run out of your share of happiness, then die. It's Dada, my grandfather; who put those words in my head since childhood. Sometimes I think it is just because he is jealous of me and Nana who often show our happiness by singing together, or exchanging jokes, and laughing together. Dada is just very jealous of my and Nana's happiness.But sometimes Dada used that magic words to punish me. A kind of justification for my suffering when he sentenced me for my stubbornness or my stupidity. I was forced to limit my own happiness; feared su